Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
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Top comments
mkid232 15
Wow, you sound like a bundle of fun, OP...
zed34 18
Men will be boys!
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Comments (228)
Rethinkyourlife 1
I mean I think it's hilarious. Imma do this to my wife
InuwindoW 13
Grow up you up tight wanker, that's funny no matter who ya are!
Futacy 29
OP's boyfriend should've kept his wanker inside.
sammyjanette 17
I didn't realize that there was only one way to be fun or just one type of humor. If OP doesn't find what her boyfriend did funny it doesn't mean that she's cold, frigid, or a stick in the mud. It means that they find different things amusing. Why are people ridiculed when they are more reserved about sex, but when they are open and wild everyone praises them? Neither way is better than the other, and people's choices about the matter should be respected.
Axel5238 29
Agreed some don't find that stuff funny. That sense of humor for me anyway can get pretty grating after a while. Any joke can get old if it's over done. I'm guessing from the OP's less than thrilled response that if he maybe does stuff like this on the regular and has gotten sick of dick jokes and that type of humor doesn't mean she doesn't have a sense of humor.
Ins0mau 20
Okay so you/OP might have different sense of humour. That doesn't mean OP should insult him or think less of him.
Erery 16
Idk I guess I'm crazy but I like a man with a childish humor.
vanaathiel 13
I have a sense of humor. My boyfriend also has a sense of humor, but if he ever walked up to me and slapped me with his junk I would not be amused.
Fuji76 15
Can't blame a guy for trying! I try to give my wife a mushroom stamp as often as I can. Mushrooms are good for your complexion!
rokolodo 10
Better than fartman. You lucky girl!
sidvand 2
He can't be Farman...I already married him!!! Lol
utlanning 9
Still don't think that's a valid reason to get off on him.
pandalover69 26
That sounds like something my ex would do. That's not even close to the reason I dumped him. I thought his similar antics were funny, grow a funny bone, he was just being dumb.
unashamedfemale 8
How can you not enjoy that?? He sounds fun!