Protective

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 00:01

Today, I had to go cap in hand to my father-in-law to ask for a loan so I could pay the mortgage, so now he thinks I’m a useless bum who can’t support my family. The truth is it was his daughter the gambler who wasted all our savings, but I can’t bring myself to upset him by telling him the truth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 988
You deserved it 231

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So make her do it. Why are you groveling to her folks when she screwed up?

you're probably going to have to set up another checking/saving account. Get your checks deposited there. Figure out how much you need from each paycheck to go towards bills roceries etc, and how much you want to save from each paycheck. Whatever is left over, you put into the joint checking account. That is the money you don't mind losing. Now you won't have to worry about your mortgage money being spent and you wont have to grovel to your father in law again. Hopefully she doesn't bet the car or house... If she asks why, you will tell her that you paid the bills with that portion of your check and the money in the joint checking/saving is your rainy day savings for if you guys fall on hard times or if you guys want to splurge. If she blows that, she won't have the extra money to splurge or to go on vacations etc, but you won't have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck.

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So make her do it. Why are you groveling to her folks when she screwed up?

It's one of the things that might help her realise what she's doing. You should make her ask or tell her dad. She needs all the help she can get, and she won't get it if you shield her from the consequences of her actions.

You need to tell him if she won’t. She needs help, and if things continue you might both need more assistance from her family.

you're probably going to have to set up another checking/saving account. Get your checks deposited there. Figure out how much you need from each paycheck to go towards bills roceries etc, and how much you want to save from each paycheck. Whatever is left over, you put into the joint checking account. That is the money you don't mind losing. Now you won't have to worry about your mortgage money being spent and you wont have to grovel to your father in law again. Hopefully she doesn't bet the car or house... If she asks why, you will tell her that you paid the bills with that portion of your check and the money in the joint checking/saving is your rainy day savings for if you guys fall on hard times or if you guys want to splurge. If she blows that, she won't have the extra money to splurge or to go on vacations etc, but you won't have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck.

I'd have no problem telling him that. I'd also cut her off from money access. AND make gambling counseling mandatory and give her the ultimatum for divorce if she doesn't.