Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom’s rescue dog snarled at me in an especially nasty way when I passed his bed. Turns out he stole mom’s purse, opened the zipper, and was now lying in a cozy nest of paper money. He was not at all amused by us trying to steal his treasure back. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I was cleaning my apartment when I found a €20 note underneath the sofa cushion. I was pretty happy until I remembered I'd lost €20 a few days earlier and spent an hour looking for it. I'd finally found my own money and felt lucky about it. FML
Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML
Today, while I have never been able to say my dog ate my homework, I do get to call several people and tell them my dog ate my wallet. He even chewed up my driver's license. FML
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hedgerow 0
dude your dog could've been killed.
alkanechain 0
Your mom is an idiot. Whether or not you deserved losing your money, the puppy doesn't deserve having all those plastic shards tearing through his system.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
mjolene 0
It's a puppy, of course it is gonna chew things on the floor. But why would your mom put your money where the dog could get to it. That's rude. She sounds like a bitch.
cboisen10 1
ydi for calling money notes. stupid cocky brits
stgeorge 0
Are you kidding? God forbid people have different culture from you or use the language that they created only for it to be butchered by people leaving their homeland.
rgcainmd 3
Stop leaving your wallet lying about, dumbass!
blastvortex 4
Did you get the message?
starzchick 0
YDI! If you are old enough to have a wallet, you are old enough to put your own shit away. My 10 yr old son is constantly leaving his stuff around the house, and I never put it away for him.. I make him stop whatever he is doing and put it away. I'm his Mom, not his freakin maid! If he doesn't learn it now, he never will. I wouldn't have let a dog eat the $$ though, that's just not fair to the dog. I would have hid the wallet to teach you a lesson. Grow up and stop blaming your Mom for your own stupidity
mugiwara_fml 0
Give him you mom's checkbook ! :o)
mmmmBLT 0
rarw
cheyannebieber 0
Poor you
Kuroftw 0
Next time don't get a ******* puppy and get a dog that doesn't chew. I love people who get puppies think training is going to be a snap. YDI.
tayza249 20
a dog that doesn't chew..
Backspace007 0
I would've kicked my moms ass dude that just ain't cool