Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom’s rescue dog snarled at me in an especially nasty way when I passed his bed. Turns out he stole mom’s purse, opened the zipper, and was now lying in a cozy nest of paper money. He was not at all amused by us trying to steal his treasure back. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I was cleaning my apartment when I found a €20 note underneath the sofa cushion. I was pretty happy until I remembered I'd lost €20 a few days earlier and spent an hour looking for it. I'd finally found my own money and felt lucky about it. FML
Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML
Today, while I have never been able to say my dog ate my homework, I do get to call several people and tell them my dog ate my wallet. He even chewed up my driver's license. FML
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
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Top comments
hedgerow 0
dude your dog could've been killed.
alkanechain 0
Your mom is an idiot. Whether or not you deserved losing your money, the puppy doesn't deserve having all those plastic shards tearing through his system.
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Comments (130)
SavySituation 0
Your "mum" is dumb
fml_mu 10
His mom is not dumb, she is teaching him some discipline. At least it's only a $20 bill. Maybe if u are still irresponsible like that tomorrow you might lose more than $200 and your credit cards which will eventually make u lose several thousand dollars.
DiscoKiller 4
It isnt 'only a £20 dollar bill£ it is £20, more like $30. And there were three of them, so $90+, or £60 in real money.
IntoTheClouds 42
Yeah, she is dumb. I don't know anybody who leaves their wallet on the floor. His mom essentially fed it to the dog, when she was probably - most likely - annoyed that he left it lying around on the tables or counters.
sarah56195 0
Eat your mom. Then show that you still have room to eat your dog, too.
BubbaJ80 11
I would have put her purse on the floor for the puppy
fantasyworld 39
I hope you learned your lesson but the dog could have choked. It doesn't seem like the smartest move on her part.