Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom’s rescue dog snarled at me in an especially nasty way when I passed his bed. Turns out he stole mom’s purse, opened the zipper, and was now lying in a cozy nest of paper money. He was not at all amused by us trying to steal his treasure back. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I was cleaning my apartment when I found a €20 note underneath the sofa cushion. I was pretty happy until I remembered I'd lost €20 a few days earlier and spent an hour looking for it. I'd finally found my own money and felt lucky about it. FML
Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML
Today, while I have never been able to say my dog ate my homework, I do get to call several people and tell them my dog ate my wallet. He even chewed up my driver's license. FML
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
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Top comments
hedgerow 0
dude your dog could've been killed.
alkanechain 0
Your mom is an idiot. Whether or not you deserved losing your money, the puppy doesn't deserve having all those plastic shards tearing through his system.
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Comments (130)
42billybob 5
if you have a dog, you don't leave shit you don't want chewed anywere it can reach. it doesn't matter how well trained your dog is, it WILL chew your shit when you aren't looking. i have trouble sympathizing with you because it really seems that you're blaming your mom for not picking up your wallet, and trying to imply that she removed it from somewhere it was safe and put it harm's way (which doesn't make ANY sense as a lesson at all).
ImCool7 0
ydi for not being american
tiberio_fml 0
**** british
katmandont 0
Where the british babes at?!
onnielief 4
Puppy's are like children, they'll chew anything thats in reach of their mouths. YDI for leaving it out.
gregsdaman 0
are u the president of the fml club?
somethingnew24 0
well on a good note if you were in my country you would have lost like 80 bucks. so in some messed up reality I have in my head you saved 20 dollars now go buy a pint and be happy!
ZeroCharisma 0
This sounds completely irresponsible on your mother's part. Why the hell would someone allow a puppy to consume things like that? That is competely horrible pet ownership. Yeah, let the dog suffer to teach you a lesson. I'm sure she would have thought it was hilarious if the dog's intestine got perforated by tiny shards of hard plastic and it died a slow, painful death. That would have really taught you. Using another living creature to prove a point to someone else is wrong, on so many levels.
lettertjes 0
indeed!
capgray 0
ydi for bein british and using british money
yottskry 0
You're right - we should be American and use money that's worth less ;)
redbluegreen 41
I am. The president she is not of the FML C--b.
bubidood 0
try dousing it with BBQ sauce