Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML
Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
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Top comments
carcinogenic 7
Your neighbours sure aren't guinea be happy about this.
droid1126 25
Its replacement time!
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Comments (108)
chocolatefrog28 29
Hit the pet store, find a twin, get over there and bring some Febreeze because that is NOT going to smell good.
arandomusernameaa 20
it would probably take 4-7 days to die so it hasn't been dead too long :/ hopefully it hasn't started to decompose yet. good luck OP!
SkyGuy32 17
It could be alive if it could find a food source in the house, but it's unlikely
cleary30 13
Or, now don't think I'm crazy here, or you could move to another part of Europe and take on a new alias and become the Minister of Magic. Just a theory. Considering that you may be magical. Who is to say?
owencgray 10
Damn it cleary. how many times does fudge need to tell you, DONT BREAK THE STATUE OF SECRECY! We cant let those pesky muggle folk know about us.
ThatDamHuntress 20
You're going to let the Muggles know about us!
silentxninja 13
Yes, you easily could just brew some polyjuice potion, and become an entirely different person. Problem solved!
CoGhostRider 31
How did it go?
ileenefudge 29
If your mom volunteered you and FORGOT to tell you that she volunteered you, then it isn't your fault because you didn't know you were volunteered. It's your moms fault for not letting you know right away after she volunteered you that you were going to be the one watching the neighbors pet while they were gone. Just tell the truth to the neighbors and hopefully they will understand. Good luck OP.
JMichael 26
I doubt the poor fella is still alive..
xSkittle 16
Just tell your neighbors the truth and blame it aaaaaall on your mom
sdroze1389 31
two weeks of rotting animal carcass? your gonna need some febreeze regardless of how you handle the situation.
softrally 15
Life pro tip: Never use Febreeze on something that smells horrid. The smells combine, and it ends up smelling even worse.
A_Perfect_Circle 12
Better get the gloves
bryonyb33 17
Guinea pigs store food so you may be okay as long as you go straight over there and give them some water and get them to a vet. Animals are pretty resilient
kingdomgirl94 29
as an owner of two, I can confirm that they really don't.
blueberry_vibes 8
Looks like you're not going to be talking to your neighbors for a while...