Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML
Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML
Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
He smacked the pussy with the *****? What has dad been teaching him?
DjeePee 25
YDI for letting something as personal as a ***** on a place where a three year old can grab it.
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Comments (87)
mikeepoo 0
kids got to start somewhere, even if it means hitting a cat with a *****
DVRP 0
ROFLCOPTER
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
To all those animal rights activist...the kid is 3 Fu$&@/! years old... he doesn't know: a- what he's doing, unless he's Damian and has a 666 on the back of his head... and b- what he's using as a toy.... if he did, let's hope he didn't try to eat the damn thing.. that makes me want to puke... thus, the point: 1- lay off the kid 2- give the OP the shit for allowing her kid access to that shit!!
BadKitty13 28
LOLOLOLOL !!!!! BUSTED ! :0
shadowzeipher 0
they climbin in yo drawers snatchin dem ****** up, so y'all betta hide ya beads an hide yo lube, cuz dey raping all dem cats out dere.
darkreap 3
that's the funnys thing I have ever hear in my life lol
underpaid011 0
insert yet another cat / ***** comment here
HomeAl0ne 20
I'm guessing Junior won't hit the cat again, mum won't get her mother to clean up for her and grandma has finally realised her little girl has grown up. I think we all learned a lesson from this one.
melibear89 7
YDI OP. never leave your sex toys out where your kids can get to them.
LaurenCMcCoy 17
That's awkward. I'd buy a new one.