Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML
Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML
Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
He smacked the pussy with the *****? What has dad been teaching him?
DjeePee 25
YDI for letting something as personal as a ***** on a place where a three year old can grab it.
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Comments (87)
masta1080 5
at least she got smart and stopped reproducing
beccusmaximus 0
Why would you put something you don't want a three-year-old to reach in the BOTTOM drawer? That's probably the only drawer a child would be able to get into. And child locks for drawers and cabinets really would help with the whole *****-snatching toddler situation.
positively_crazy 0
YDI for letting your kid play with that. that's sick. after where it's been you let your kid touch it and he will probably put in his mouth like most kids do. that's disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself.
BloodyHeel 8
Yes, she really planned on this happening. You shouldn't post such judgemental comments until you grow up, 16 is just too you to understand these situations. IMO
BloodyHeel 8
*too young.
KVloveBC 0
#26 actually in her profile it says 1996..that makes her 14..so yea..way ti fukn young
iheartowls 0
25- I'd imagine most women wash them afterwards. If not, that's definitely unsanitary. I guess I wouldn't expect you to know anything about ******- you're only 14. Or 16. Which is it? You don't know when your own birthday is?
BloodyHeel 8
Well she has just changed her year of birth by two years. I guess she decided on being 16.
KVloveBC 0
or she doesn't know her age. xD but that's still disgusting n way too young!
wtfwoman 0
it's not like she knew the baby would find it stupid.
MuchDance90s 0
14 is the ideal age to judge as by then you are just old enough to think that you know everything while not experiencing much at all. the older you get, the more you realize that you know nothing. 8)
chimpsndip 0
26, yeah and 22 years old totally makes you the smartest person here. 47-No it says 1994 idiot.
KVloveBC 0
#79 yea stupid kid..FYI. she changed it after I posted my comment..go n read 64
citynightneonlig 0
Ignorant comments like this happen when parents don't watch their kids.
LilNigga916 6
In her about me, it says she is 16, in her birthdate, it says she is 18-.-
LoveAlways27 0
that's a hilarious scene.... "smack" "meow" "whaaaaa"
iPunchedBigFoot 5
This is how pornos start
DocBastard 40
No it is not, you sick ****. Have you ever seen a porno that contained a three year old? If so, there will be some men in dark suits arriving at your house to ask you a few questions...........now.
browncity23 0
oh commentors... you are all so dumb... her mom brought back the ***** not her 3 year old... read the whole thing
bethan1 4
The OP thought it was the cats toy but it turned out to be a *****. Now who's the dumb commenter! ;)
iRun4Rice 0
hahahaha hes climbin in yur windows
RedPillSucks 33
Was the cats butt all stretched out?
modifiedchick 0
YDI for letting your child abuse an innocent animal. Gotta say I'm glad that the cat scratched the little ******
C94Slim 7
the kid is 3 years old shit. go troll someone your own age. not like he knows what he's doing
LetItBe5 7
I approve #39
cathyran25 0
bahahahahah lmfao