By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 784
You deserved it 44 279

Same thing different taste

Top comments


ashleykay94 7

Well if you're trying to lose weight, your basically set. You have your excersice and your healthy food.

GoodLookingGeese 10

The OP's mother is just jealous 4 not getting laid as well as her son - crazy woman should be happy for him. Obviously she already had her time.. ;)

Your mom has to be pretty strong to haul around 20kg of carrots

lucyinthesky420 10

That's disgusting. Maybe she doesn't want to hear her son have sex.

Horcruxer 0

Why are you posting comments when they're not replies to the first comment? Attention seeking??

lucyinthesky420 10

More like disagreeing with nasty opinions. And look what you did there... Posted a comment not referring to the first... Attention seeking? ;)

Horcruxer, you've been around here long enough to know that attention whoring is rampant under the first comment. There are a few frequent offenders, and it drives me bonkers. Trying to call them out just worsens the problem. I prefer to stick needles into their voodoo dolls' eyes and/or genitals repeatedly.

EmilyShmemily496 0

OP, if you're old enough to 'go at it like rabbits', you can buy your own damn food!

So that explains the stabbing feeling, Doc.

Horcruxer 0

You must be right Doc. Smh. And look at what LUCY just did, not referring to the first comment are you? Smh.

lucyinthesky420 10

Nope, because I don't feel that way about first post comments, sorry.

Horcruxer 0

Which is why you just thumbed me down, and why Doc made you a fat voodoo doll.

lucyinthesky420 10

I didn't thumb you down & unfortunately I'm not fat, so please stop replying before everyone thumbs you down. Thanks

Horcruxer 0

I didn't say you were, but you said unfortunately so you wish you were fat? You used to be? Yea if everyone thumbs me down I'll take it as the end of times.


And if he's not, then at least he'll have perfect vision.

GovernorGeneral 8

But carrots taste delicious. Especially with the right dipping sauce :D I wouldnt mind the 20kg of carrots x)

131 rabbits dont get sauce... only the carrot...

Jakesterk96 8

She probably won all of those carrots that that person who won a lifetime supply of pineapples.

You can't just feed rabbits carrots, they'll die. Tell that bitch to get you some pellets lol (And because I couldn't decide which would be funnier, here's the other thing I wanted to say) Tell that bitch to get you a salad.

alliewillie 22

So... You have lots of sex apparently to other people's knowledge in your mothers house? YDI.

CamiJohnson 0

This is my most favorite FML ever

alexaaat 0

she must have money to blow to prove that point..

AlaskanEskimo34 0

Smart mom. I hope my mom doesn't start feeding me dog food for doing it doggy style.

crymore_fml 2

I get to eat beef all day for doing it cowgirl

88- Indians aren't allowed to eat beef...

ShroomsOnAcid 16

What's her problem with it? Sounds like normal teenage behavior to me. Why don't you ask her how much sex she had when she was your age, OP? That'll shut her up.

99, what the fork are you talking about? why did you drag indians into this discussion?

A 20kg bag of carrots would be under $10

insanelyXnikki 18
crymore_fml 2

Ask her how u would have to go at it to get 20kg of bacon

I don't know of any animal whose stereotypical diet is bacon, unless they had to go at it like humans.

sinking_fish 12

159- PLEASE, Please be joking.

do it epicmealtime style.... covered in that jack dagnils sauce!!!

dragonstrike94 8
ArielTheMermaid 17

LOL that is hilarious! Your mom is awesome!

If the OP is old enough for sex, he is also old enough to buy his own food if she is only going to be buying him carrots. I find it hilarious myself, its something I would do to my kids as a joke

AlaskanEskimo34 0

My mom caught me having sex once, but I hope she doesn't start feeding me dog food.

AlaskanEskimo34 0

My bad, didn't know I hit send on this one too

evilteddybear 0

I love carrots but im not vegan either

ashleykay94 7

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So you're saying that op's MOTHER should buy ear plugs and just not say anything about him and his girlfriend having continuous sex in her house. And I'm assuming it's her house since she feeds op which probably means he's young....

no? He stills lives at home. If he wants to have sex in his house while his mother is HOME, maybe he should be more discreet. Or maybe he just shouldn't have sex with his parents in the house! His mom doesn't have to "get over" any thing. She doesn't need to get ear plugs for him. He needs to stop. At least his mom didn't yell. What she did was pretty amusing.

sirencouture 3

You read the fml post wrong. Lol.

it never says anywhere they have sex In the mothers house. don't assume things. for all we know the mum could be a creepy stalker who stalks her son and that's how she knows they have sex like rabbits. we don't know

^ so she stalks her son and finds him wherever he is, and sees him having sex with his girlfriend constantly? Right. I think it's safe to assume he's having sex in her house.

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Horcruxer 0

He did say she came home. Should we assume sex in the garage? In the car? Or maybe he just tells his mom how much he has been having sex lately? You always say, "Don't assume things," but can we assume logically and with context clues?

puppypuncher 5

50- Don't assume things? You HAVE TO assume things when reading FML. Just make sure they're logical assumptions that you come to after taking in clues. A logical assumption would be that he lives in his mother's house. Also, YOU just assumed that his mother could stalk them. *rage*

rubyliu8420 7

Seriously? It's the mom's house, they should find somewhere else to ****.

theDOGgoesIDGAF 0

43 I think 40 was telling 5 that she read it wrong, because 5's comment was extremely retarded. It weird to kiss in front of your parents let alone have them hear your loud ass sex.

^ how does that make sense? What you just said doesn't have anything to do with reading the FML wrong

50- It doesn't say anywhere that op is a guy. Sure we have clues like "girlfriend" and the name is Danny, but we can't assume anything according to you. Op might be a lesbian!

Hehe, so funny reading fml users silly debates!

But she didn't read it wrong anyway so I don't understand what you people are trying to clarify. That was directed to 166 before you edited your comment completely.

The only thing assume does is make an ass out of U and ME! Bahaha

NuclearWinterxD 0

If the dude doesn't like it he can move out. Otherwise get the **** over it. Not his house he can deal.

Come on. If she's your mother, you're kind of dumb. She (the gf) should probably have the self control to not have sex around your madre and spend some money on a male hooker.

Doesn't mean they need to have sex.

Carrots are good for your skin. So win win I guess ?! =|

carrots are actually bad for rabbit's teeth, theyusually eat lettuce or other greens

They eat the tops of carrots. And other greens. But ferrets eat rabbits so...

deathpotato 11