Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
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Top comments
SomeRandomGuy15 18
You just randomly bit into the things on the dish without asking what they were or asking permission?
Cusefan5 6
Well at least your mouths are now clean
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Comments (100)
dr_snow_bear 29
It's customary to look at what the shop sells before stuffing your face.
sailorzoe 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not in... 'MERICA!!
rg350dx 29
'STRALIA*
tswizz 13
STRAYA*
botanistjessica 24
39 is slightly deranged. Confirmed after reading her profile.
rg350dx 29
Serves you right for "sampling" the soap without a free samples sign or any confirmation from the attendants they were samples. Btw just because something's on a plate doesn't mean you have to grab it and eat it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
My lord, how are these vile peons even worthy of being the subject your almighty judgement?
rg350dx 29
I step down off of my winged horse every now and again to mingle with and judge these mortals.
bReLiNg 18
I almost did the same thing with butter. I thought it was milk chocolate or something! Phst decorative soap is overrated any how OP :)
perdix 31
#13, are you referring to its rating as a soap or as a decoration? You've got to give it some credit for competing in two categories.
StoryOfTheYear 15
13 believed it wasn't butter
hooligyn123 18
Do they make dark brown colored butter? I could see butter and white chocolate, but milk chocolate?!
bReLiNg 18
It was colored to match the theme.
hooligyn123 18
Touché LOL Fair enough :)
Pstraka6 20
I'm a man and I stay away from scented soap or decorative anything because this would be me. Ooooo raspberries! Why yes ill try one!
perdix 31
Well, at least you've put in the work to spew out a stream of creative profanity. Usually, one peppers the room with C-words, F-bombs and other terms for genitalia, recta, excretions and procreation before the soap treatment, but since you've done the time, you are now free to do the crime.
Silent_Thrill 17
Today my mother and I stole some food from a small shop. Turns out it wasn't food, it was soap. We got what was coming to us by eating it. FML
crackpotL 33
here's your sign
cmb8280 24
Who just walks around putting random unknown shit in their mouths? YDI
crazytwinsmom 25
My daughter, unfortunately.
McNikk 15
Could you not tell by the smell and texture... or possibly a sign nearby that might say something about what's being sold?
Setareh23 34
Ah, gross. I've had soap before and it is not pleasant... I'm curious as to what the shop-owners' reaction was, lol.