Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
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Top comments
SomeRandomGuy15 18
You just randomly bit into the things on the dish without asking what they were or asking permission?
Cusefan5 6
Well at least your mouths are now clean
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Comments (100)
perdix 31
#15, and that reminds me of the time I got arrested for carrying around a "Free Hugs" sign at the mall. The mall cops objected to the 4-point print at the bottom: "Hug Release: $20."
zombiekitten87 12
Well, why did you assume they were free samples?
s0m3guy2010 21
15- And that reminds of the time I stumbled onto an APE van. I didn't see any apes in there, but I did find a lot of dead hookers. When looking back on that memory, there may have been something suspicious about that, but I go absolutely bananas whenever it comes to finding apes.
Raivyn_Grimm 9
This exact same thing happened to me at a Rennaissance Festival. Although, in my defense, The person actually came up to me and offered me a free sample. Which begs to question - who the hell gives away free samples of soap? Especially when they look like ******* candies? Assholes, that's who.
SWC_Penguin 17
What's beautiful here is that you both must have bitten down at the EXACT same moment for you to have both done it. The effect would have been ruined had one of you bit down first and stopped the other. I just love it when the universe produces perfect performance art.
LetItFlow57 7
And the vendors said nothing about this...? Sorry, OP.
RedPillSucks 33
When I first read this I thought "Who the hell sells samples in a bathroom stall!!??" Had to re-read it.
perdix 31
#34, which reminds me of the time you showed up to my "Free Hugs" stand with $15 and asked for a Hug Release discount, which I steadfastly refused, until the mall closed and the cops tossed us. You really screwed up my cash flow for the day, but it wasn't terribly unpleasant otherwise ;)
Momo_Moonlight 25
Well...I'm not sure if this is a YDI or a FYL. But asking the sales person first is always a good idea, so how about doing that next time before just random eating stuff that is on display? Sorry if that sounds harsh but...yeah. It's my opinion.
lincolnick4 19
Should've asked them what it was :)