Happy intoxication day

By rubber_duckie177 - 24/09/2009 11:25 - United States

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 143
You deserved it 4 027

Same thing different taste

Top comments

May I suggest a magnifying glass and tweezers

OM NOM NOM. Poison! Good thing she didn't just eat them instead.


_cheeseballs 0
ohwiseman 0

that's what you get for not knowing how to bake a cake, bitch. now go back to Kitchen 101. and make me a sammich.

ohwiseman 0

hey moon-mistress, does the "moon" in your name refer to the size of your ass? and what exactly are you a "mistress" of? you need to get back to "shut-the-****-up, woman" 101.

#19, how would this FML be any different? The idiot sister would have just ruined a cake the OP baked instead of ruining a cake the OP bought.

ohwiseman 0

i don't know, i stopped reading after "Since i'm not good at baking." That line, combined with the fact that she is a female and therefore lesser, is a ******* problem.

Yeah, we're lesser. Not the dumb piece of shit troll calling women lesser. Dumb ****, go back into your hole.

ohwiseman 0

i happen to be on my day off, having some good ole fun. you're the stupid bitch troll (i'm talking to you, bitchcraft) who comments on here all ******* day long. now excuse me while i go cash in some stock shares and make a couple grand while sitting in my underwear. Come scratch my balls for me, ****.

You sure showed me! Please stop, I can't stand to cry anymore. You're on your day off from what? I find it hard to believe that a stupid **** like you has the mindset and ability to work. By the way, good job with the "bitchcraft" name play. It was really clever. I can't believe you managed to change "witch" to "bitch". Brainpower! As if you have any balls. Go die.

_cheeseballs 0


ohwiseman 0

i'm on my day off from banging your mother. didn't she tell you? i'm yo' daddy, bitch. and yeah i have the mindset to work. i just like to mess with stupid womenfolk like you sometimes because it's a damn good stress reliever. now dab your eyes, put down the bon-bons and ice cream, and fetch me a cold one 'fore i backhand you.

What clever wit and charm you have! Again, you'd have to have balls to be able to knock a woman up. I can't believe I'm wasting my time on a stupid troll. I'm off to find someone more worthwhile.

ohwiseman 0

like a vibrator? since i'm sure you're far too hideous for anything male to touch you. nasty fat bitch.

ohwiseman 0

and when you break out all over your forehead? that's from the residue my nutsack leaves there.

cheese_please 0

Seriously, shut the **** up asshole, you're not funny. And how many times does she have to tell you that you don't have any balls?

ohwiseman 0

no, if i had no balls that'd make me a grinning retard from canada. much like yourself. does canada export anything besides ice and worthlessness? i thought not. now go ask your girlfriend if you may borrow your own balls from her purse.

ohwiseman 0

guess you want a teabagging too, you ****** canuck. go stuff a hockey puck up your asshole while you deepthroat a hockey stick.

ohwiseman 0

btw, i am getting a real ******* kick out of it that everything i post gets voted down and hidden. just remember i didn't start any shit. that bitch witchraft and her limpdick canadian bf decided to team up and put their 'tard powers together for the betterment of the thread. leave me the **** alone and i'll leave you alone. maybe.

Dude, shut the hell up. You're an idiot. You started it all. Not only that, but you're the only retarded person we see here. So do the world a favor and go lock yourself in the attic. Hopefully you'll either suffocate or throw yourself out of the window. Wait, I forgot. You're probably locked in mommy's basement. P.S. I know you're going to reply to this with some stupid insult, but I really couldn't give a flying ****. You aren't worth any more of my time that I've sadly already wasted on you, reading your worthless pathetic comments. EDIT: Lmfao, looks like the asshole got deleted. Thank goodness.

ohwizeman 0

ah. intoxicunt. i was wondering when you would rear your ugly feminist head. you're quite cyber-intellectual, aren't you? i'm sure you think of yourself as such. i don't know what kind of admin pull you have on this site, but i'm not going anywhere. and to all you little pansies who complained about me: get off your mothers' tit.

Ah, Toxi. You are brilliant and that was amazing.


Get a room you two... And woman are lesser than men

But Toxi, he'd have to achieve puberty first to really appreciate it.

It would be that much more mysterious and awesome to him, then.

That's true. He probably doesn't know what a vag is or looks like, so it would be a learning experience for him! If he ever gets laid he will know where to go.

turkishjew 0

I thought that this was comments were suppost to be directed at the comment, not an argument

ok this whole argument with cheeseball? idk what he said but for all you know u couldve sent him to suicide with ur arguing

May I suggest a magnifying glass and tweezers

YDI for not supervising your daughter properly.

OM NOM NOM. Poison! Good thing she didn't just eat them instead.

It's not poison, you twit. Silica is the primary material in sand. It is not toxic, but it is not pleasant. OP: That's quite unfortunate. Could always try to brush them off, but that may not go very well.

well not everyone is an expert on sand... unlike you, apparently.

Oh, gee, paaaardon me. I used the wrong word, admittedly. Here, I'll frikkin' rephrase it. OM NOM NOM. Inedible and possibly harmful substance!

Well I see where he's coming from correcting you. You're attempt at funny wasn't backed up by facts lol.

It's the same punch line either way, for ****'s sake. I'm not saying I didn't misuse the word. I did. But aside from just pointing it out to me, it's irrelevant. Poison, inedible substance, toxic substance, acid, SAME ******* PUNCH LINE.

Hey, both of you can suck a big one! READ- this definition of poison, definition number 1: http://www.dictionary.net/poison READ- this info about the harmful effects of eating silica: http://chrisp.orconhosting.net.nz/ Put two and two together. IT'S POISON BY DEFINITION. Now who doesn't know what they're talking about?

Sorry Tox, but your argument doesn't match up. Poison is defined as a substance which produces morbid, noxious, or deadly results in an organism. Silica will make you thirsty. That's what it does. It absorbs water. Industrial silica, on the other hand, can have cobalt (II) chloride, which is extremely toxic. It is also bright blue when dry, and bright pink when wet. Which is not food-grade, and thus can't be packed with food.

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Why did a misuse of a word turn into a lesson on definitions? We all got Toxi's point anyways. It was funny regardless whether or not she used the word poison correctly or incorrectly. No need to go all smartical on us, Finnboghi!

Regardless, it's funny because of her name :D

toxico You just got served, its best you keep quiet now lol

Actually silica gel may cause irritation of the digestive tract, and dust from the beads may cause irritation to the skin and eyes. Either way, we get Intoxicunt's point and you just look like a pompous jackass for trying to correct her. Did you nearly pee yourself from excitement when you read that she had used the wrong word so that you could correct her? And The_Pleb, shut the hell up. Really.

Sounds like morbid results to me. I guess that's up for debate, but I think it qualified as "morbid". They never said it was packaged with FOOD, just in A package. "Just got served"? Way to go, you can steal a line from a movie. You're ******* creative.

I agree. Food grade Silica is purchasable and it is indigestible, with zero nutritional value and zero toxicity. It won't hurt you at all unless you sit there and eat pounds of it. Since it's a cake, it couldn't have been anything but food grade silica, therefore it's harmless. Not a FML, more-so a YDI for not keeping an eye on your kid or something as important as this cake.

WHAT THE ****? The comment didn't work. :( I'm going to write a new one.

Let's try again. "From ---A--- package." Not a food package. Could've been a shoebox. I know it isn't that pink and blue stuff. That is fun to play with though. Sounds like a regular little silica gel pack, which causes harm if ingested. Whether said harm constitutes the term "poison" is debatable.

mister_moops 0

oh my ******* god. silica is bad to ingest. end of story, ok?

Intoxicunt, you need your own website if you don't have one already. Your comments/conversations are funnier than all the FMLs combined.

Agreed. There are more posts on this comment than original comments on this FML. I think that site would have as much funny as MLIA.

I think that conversation/argument/debate/circlefuckery made my brain hurt. Hooray for anti-trolling shenanigans! *cues "cheering audience from an '80s sitcom" sound clip*

Still wrong, absorbs water, isn't a poison.

God damn, leave me alone, binary ****. Dicionary.reference.com says: –noun 2. something harmful or pernicious, as to happiness or well-being. I didn't use it wrongly. Deal with it. I'm pretty sure barfing repeatedly harms happiness and well-being. Now please, shut the **** up. Go correct someone who is incorrect.

01100110 - go ingest a bucket of silica gel and shut the hell up.

lol you guys are getting trolled hard.

You know, as annoying as it was, I'm honored to have been trolled so well. That was far more entertaining and creative than "women suck YDI make me a sammich" and the likes.

Ok idiot then why would the package say WARNING TOXIC???!!! If it wasnt.poisonus btw it also says DO NOT CONSUME IF CONSUMED CALL CONTROL POISON CENTER A.S.A.P??? Duuuhhh!!! I guess if its not poisonus then YOU eat it and tell us later on in an FML on the effects it gave YOU!!!

A little silica never hurt anybody. Pick it off best you can and move on.

Pandachewchew12 0

You should be like "I would have done it if she didn't"