Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
Aslong as they were unused its not that bad ;P
Xyrian 0
This sounds suspiciously familiar to American Wedding, which also happened to be on television last night, go figure.
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Comments (96)
nat66623 0
That's like in American Wedding where the mom finds them and she's using them as a neck massager!
love4animals 0
ha thats halarious!
Lou_Briccant 0
Well it's obvious you got the most for your purchase there.
n8_fml 0
Did she find it pleasurable? Hah, kidding. Must have been awkward. Better than being like, "Oh, well these are anal beads". Mom: "What? how do you use them?"
kellster 2
You could try honesty next time. Just a thought. Also, "gag gift", really??? That's not transparent at all. Right up there with "your friend's" anal beads, lol. #10 - how old are you, 12?
Kellayy 0
That's just wrong on SO many different levels XD
beardsnbicycles7 0
How hard would it be to explain the gag gift?
Bertlovesearnie 0
Today, I was helping my daughter unpack and i saw a sex toy and asked what it was for an explanation. she rubbed anal beads on me and massaged me with them. FML
crazyhobo 0
Kudos for going through with the lie, but needless to say; I hope I never meet you after learning something like that.
Endymion_fml 0
"And one thing led to another..."?