Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my mom opens at McDonald's, and I go with her to chill before walking to the bus stop. The lobby was closed. I had to shit so bad, I was knocking on the door, and usually they let me in, but nobody noticed. I had to shit so incredibly bad. so… I went into the car and found an old McDonald's cup and some napkins… FML
Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?
sparklemuffin 8
lol what a win
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Comments (319)
bspiper87 7
Just as weird as going to McDonalds and ordering.a bigmac meal supersized 2 apple pies 3 freshly baked cookies for $1.79 or 39 cents each and a "Diet Coke"©
marramrammar 2
McNuggets w Fries? ;-)
perdix 31
How about McPrivacy? Oh, they're out of that? How about McAloneTime with a side of McDignity? Oh, they're out of those? I'll have a McRib with lots of WetNaps! Thanks, mom.
zihsuan 1
shaker fries?
E001mek 5
that is hilarious sitcom material XD
Tim_P98 0
How to get free iTunes Xbox live codes etc.1?download the app app trailers2?put in the code kevbot and get 50 credits.3?enjoy making money!
Lockjaw2k 5
Is your mom hot?
countrycrazy 0
That's amazing!!!!
righound 0
So...what did ya order from McDonald's?
steelflax 5
Id go with a quarter pound some fries and a supersize happy meal so i could be happy for the week oh and a diet pepsi imean diet 7up pepsi rotts ur teeth more