By -_- - 21/9/2017 16:00

Google Maps strikes again!

Today, I went shopping for some nice clothing for work. Annoyed that the first two stores I went to didn't have anything, I drove to a store in an unfamiliar part of the city. Not only did Google Maps direct me to a store that doesn't exist, but my car broke down in the parking lot. FML

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Rock, hard place

Vultures

Higher standards

By Anonymous - 26/3/2013 14:54 - Finland - Vanda

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

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By anonymous - 4/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

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By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

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By SnuggieOverload - 28/9/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

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By aherdofpigs - 2/9/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/5/2019 02:25

The Dilbert Principle

Today, I had to attend an interview in order to keep my job, despite exceeding all of my targets for over a year. My supervisor has not reached a single target at all in the same time, yet his job is safe and not under review. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 00:53 - United States - Cranston

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/7/2019 07:00 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, it's my birthday and I had to work. My boss wished me a happy birthday, and then told me I was fired. FML

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By notaprossie - 3/2/2010 08:42 - South Africa

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

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By wtfseriously - 9/5/2011 17:22 - United States

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

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By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

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By Eskyew - 23/7/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

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By megmo7 - 4/10/2010 08:24 - United States

Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML

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By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

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By Humaned - 13/3/2016 20:54 - Cura?ao - Willemstad

Today, my school is making us take care of eggs for a teen pregnancy awareness project. Ever since we got the eggs, I've had nightmares, and people question why I don't want kids. FML

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By H-B - 28/4/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

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By toiletgirl - 14/12/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

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By Casino - 2/4/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML

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By Kimel - 22/1/2016 00:11 - France - Vincent

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 12:00

Oh, hai Mark!

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

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By Jioune - 5/7/2016 21:56 - France - Caluire

Today, I learned that my friends nicknamed me Snow White, not because I’ve got dark hair and very pale skin, but because I “only hook up with tiny dudes”. FML

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By DM - 4/3/2013 20:02 - United States - Fayville

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

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By MERRY FUCKMYARSEMASS - 26/12/2013 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2017 00:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, on a train to the airport the ticket inspector pointed out that my girlfriend and I hadn't activated our tickets. He suggested one of us get off and activate them at the next station. Now I'm on the moving train with all our luggage and she's waving from the platform with our tickets. FML

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By Aeare_ - 17/9/2016 04:15 - United States - Dixon

Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML

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By schnegg - 23/4/2016 17:33 - Switzerland

Today, the firm I work at informed all the employees about our annual staff trip. So, we're going to a tomato festival and everything is already planned and booked. I'm allergic to tomatoes. FML

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By Infested Girlfriend - 30/4/2020 05:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Sharing is caring

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

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By omfgmaya - 5/10/2009 17:29 - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/3/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

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By drivingmecrazy - 28/5/2015 01:28 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

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By her mom raised her - 17/5/2014 17:30 - Mexico

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

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By SwAGkiLlS - 15/7/2012 15:12 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

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By girlw/ablog - 2/7/2019 11:00 - United States - Austin

Today, while on a bus, an elderly lady sat next to me sneezed so hard, snot literally went flying. I even offered her a napkin, that she refused. After a brief panic and realizing she had nothing to clean her mess with, she "inconspicuously" wiped her snotty hand on my pants. FML

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By Judy69 - 7/4/2012 07:04 - United States - Dekalb

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

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By Palf - 30/8/2010 11:40 - Germany

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/1/2011 23:00 - United States

Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML

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By skinnybitch - 11/12/2012 18:09 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

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By scared - 4/8/2014 00:47 - Canada

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

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By Anonymous - 6/12/2013 21:37 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

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By educatttiiioonnn - 26/9/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

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Top comments

By GhostFox | 33

#7540184 - Tuesday 12 September 2017 8:05

Submit a ticket to Google Maps that says that the store is no longer in that location- though, make sure there wasn't one nearby and the marker just wasn't positioned correctly.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7543727 - Thursday 21 September 2017 16:06

That’s Google AI Prophecy! It’s telling you to build a clothing store on that site, and you’ll make enough money to buy a reliable car.

Trust the robots — they know all!

COMMENTS

By GhostFox | 33

#7540184 - Tuesday 12 September 2017 8:05

Submit a ticket to Google Maps that says that the store is no longer in that location- though, make sure there wasn't one nearby and the marker just wasn't positioned correctly.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7543727 - Thursday 21 September 2017 16:06

That’s Google AI Prophecy! It’s telling you to build a clothing store on that site, and you’ll make enough money to buy a reliable car.

Trust the robots — they know all!

By Rebekah95 | 23

#7543762 - Thursday 21 September 2017 18:14

Are you sure it wasn’t apple maps?

By davecross | 11

#7543805 - Thursday 21 September 2017 20:21

Google maps is trying to get you killed!

By ARISKomuniszt | 24

#7543851 - Thursday 21 September 2017 22:28

SHOPPING PRANK (IN THE HOOD) (GONE WRONG) (GONE VIOLENT)

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7543975 - Friday 22 September 2017 7:10

YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR *FINAL* DESTINATION.

By thatslifeiguess7 | 15

#7544342 - Saturday 23 September 2017 3:46

in this day and age you didn't call? GPS tells folks to turn right on a street that's a dead end from 44 th You need to recall GPS for some odd reason doesn't factor in buildings, dead in streets etc

By SteelSoul5 | 9

#7544405 - Saturday 23 September 2017 9:12

Time to get an iPhone

By DrFaiss Abbasi | 9

#7545758 - Tuesday 26 September 2017 23:22

Google isn't answer to everything. Stop believing everything you read on the internet.