By -_-

Google Maps strikes again!

Today, I went shopping for some nice clothing for work. Annoyed that the first two stores I went to didn't have anything, I drove to a store in an unfamiliar part of the city. Not only did Google Maps direct me to a store that doesn't exist, but my car broke down in the parking lot. FML

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Sorry…

Scoville scale

Work sucks, I know

By John - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Pembroke

Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML

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By mustanggt

Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML

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By Kyra.45 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

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By whorecrux - United States - Newark

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I saw my ex best friend and my cheating ex-girlfriend hanging out at the gym, where I work. They signed up here just to piss me off. It's working. FML

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By assoutofuandme - United States - San Francisco

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

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By skiergal98

Today, I found out why I haven't been getting my bank statements for the past couple of months. My parents have been hiding them from me, because they've been stealing from it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - North Andover

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

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By TurtleTeacher - United States

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

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By miley098 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

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By thefailwhale - United States - Hartford

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

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By idiot bro - United States - Brunswick

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

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By Booooolette - France - Beauvais

Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML

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By experience_to_get_experience - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I turned 25. I'm single, still living at home and doing an unpaid internship in an industry I have no interest in, because it was the only accepted application after 6 months of unemployment. The daily 45-minute drive means I'm losing money every week for being "employed" with a PhD. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Arlington

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 11:02

Rom-com

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend who I'm crushing hard on that I like her. She gave me a look of revulsion and asked if I was joking. FML

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By 504-A1 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

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By lonesomegal - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

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By boom - United States

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

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By Embarassed - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

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By Sarah - United States

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

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By hairless by death - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

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By angelsaredicks - United States - Morgantown

Today, I gave blood for the first time, since I'm a universal donor. After it was done, I passed out, woke up, puked, and passed out again. The kind nurses told me I was the worst case they had seen all week. So much for doing something to help others. FML

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By evecamp - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

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By jaxattax - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

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By suckmeoff - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Atwater

Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML

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By oooooopss - United States - Portland

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

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By hhaannnnaahh - United States

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

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By "taelor14"

Today, after boarding my flight, the flight attendant looked at me and said that I had to sit elsewhere because I had to be over 14 to sit near the emergency exit. I'm 22. FML

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By

Today, I found out I'm going to have to come into the office on yet another weekend to plow snow. This wouldn't be so bad, if I actually got paid to work weekends. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, on our first holiday together, my boyfriend decided to spend his time reminiscing about having come here once with his ex. He then decided to go type up an email to her about it. FML

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Top comments

By GhostFox | 33

#7540184 - Tuesday 12 September 2017 8:05

Submit a ticket to Google Maps that says that the store is no longer in that location- though, make sure there wasn't one nearby and the marker just wasn't positioned correctly.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7543727 - Thursday 21 September 2017 16:06

That’s Google AI Prophecy! It’s telling you to build a clothing store on that site, and you’ll make enough money to buy a reliable car.

Trust the robots — they know all!

COMMENTS

By GhostFox | 33

#7540184 - Tuesday 12 September 2017 8:05

Submit a ticket to Google Maps that says that the store is no longer in that location- though, make sure there wasn't one nearby and the marker just wasn't positioned correctly.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7543727 - Thursday 21 September 2017 16:06

That’s Google AI Prophecy! It’s telling you to build a clothing store on that site, and you’ll make enough money to buy a reliable car.

Trust the robots — they know all!

By Rebekah95 | 23

#7543762 - Thursday 21 September 2017 18:14

Are you sure it wasn’t apple maps?

By davecross | 11

#7543805 - Thursday 21 September 2017 20:21

Google maps is trying to get you killed!

By ARISKomuniszt | 24

#7543851 - Thursday 21 September 2017 22:28

SHOPPING PRANK (IN THE HOOD) (GONE WRONG) (GONE VIOLENT)

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7543975 - Friday 22 September 2017 7:10

YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR <I>*FINAL*</I> DESTINATION.

By thatslifeiguess7 | 15

#7544342 - Saturday 23 September 2017 3:46

in this day and age you didn't call? GPS tells folks to turn right on a street that's a dead end from 44 th You need to recall GPS for some odd reason doesn't factor in buildings, dead in streets etc

By SteelSoul5 | 9

#7544405 - Saturday 23 September 2017 9:12

Time to get an iPhone

By DrFaiss Abbasi | 9

#7545758 - Tuesday 26 September 2017 23:22

Google isn't answer to everything. Stop believing everything you read on the internet.