Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my mom opens at McDonald's, and I go with her to chill before walking to the bus stop. The lobby was closed. I had to shit so bad, I was knocking on the door, and usually they let me in, but nobody noticed. I had to shit so incredibly bad. so… I went into the car and found an old McDonald's cup and some napkins… FML
Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?
sparklemuffin 8
lol what a win
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Comments (319)
fentron 3
"just some napkins"
sneeze_watch 19
WHEN will you people learn to lock your doors or at least wait until there's no one home to **********?!
sharpshooter22ma 0
You are smoking hot
Chrispayne 4
Weird how she was staring but doesnt,anyone think it was weird he just kept going,looking,at her?
jpmc808 1
I think she was waiting for an invitation to give you a hand, literally. o_O
Ressamies 6
"I want... hamburger with extra lotion"
camrieupperxo 2
Hahahahahhahahaha
lea3829 7
Nuf said
brandonjd25 3
She wants it...
sharpshooter22ma 0
Should of asked your mom for a milkshake and see what she would of said lol and is she available?
5t3ff1k4h 47
First off, you're not funny. Second, "would of" and "should of" don't make sense. Learn to speak English.
hillbillyboy1993 7
hey man how about we hit on everything with or without a ****** on fml??? really cool... keep your ******* hormones to yourself
bubo_fml 11
That's when you look her right in the eye, grimace & say, "Here comes the special sauce, Momma!" & polish one off, like a fukkin' boss!