Intimacy: Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn...

By theassman - 11/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 142

You deserved it 80 564

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 775

You deserved it 32 319

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 639

By Anonymous user - 09/08/2018 06:00

Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 2 945

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 200

You deserved it 56 603

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 36 275

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 16:59 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 397

You deserved it 6 727

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 586

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 707

You deserved it 10 244

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 9 764

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 2 573

GameRater01 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:33

I never realized there were so many people in the world without access to rooms with locks as when I started coming to fmylife

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:35

So is it safe to assume i'm the only one who masterbates to old Beatles concerts?

Comments

pinkfrenchrose 5

Friday 13 March 2009 7:10

I'm laughing SO hard right now. I FEEL FOR YOU!!! xD xD xD

LawlRocker 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 5:36

You know what would have been worst? If you were watching two small children have a water balloon fight, Or if you were looking at pictures of your best friend on myspace, before hand. but that was pretty funny :]

sanduniverse 0

Monday 16 March 2009 6:27

Fortunately, it isn't Michael Jackson. However The Beatles ftw!

lpaul49 0

Monday 16 March 2009 6:32

@ 15. word.

iamsansname 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 12:06

I don't think this is a very good FML. The Beatles are perfect. I'm surprised that everybody doesn't start masturbating whenever the Beatles are on. Probably this made your mom more sympathetic...I know I'd find it easier to accept my son's masturbation habits if I knew he had such musical taste. Although uh, yeah, you do need to prioritize a bit. Hiding self > hiding ****.

fdlightningquik 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 0:53

1. If there's a possibility someone walks in make sure you can hide yourself and the **** AT THE SAME TIME 2. Your mom is dumb either dumb or didn't care.