Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Cold reading bullshit merchant
Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not, and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bi-curious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML
Anonymous
Keeping up
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Anonymous
Longmont, United States
Bad thought
Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML
BtoTheRtoTheTTK
Winter Haven, United States
Holy stereotypes, mom!
Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML
lil_munchkinjen
United Kingdom
Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML
TedX
Denial
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Anonymous
Stop using this as an excuse
Today, I had to tell my ex-husband I’m a lesbian. I’m not, he just keeps trying to win me back, but it worked, he now thinks there’s no chance for us. Unfortunately, he mentioned it to my mom, who “always suspected” and is now obsessively trying to set me up with every lesbian she knows. FML
Anonymous
Oak Ridge, United States
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Eagle
United States
Casual
Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML
shouldhaveknown
Australia
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says, "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
Top comments
DocBastard 38
I would highly advise you to go along with it. That way when you bring a boy home, they'll think you're just friends and won't mind you having a "sleepover".
Ukeee_X 19
She needs a hobby.
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Comments (91)
PenguinBitch 43
Convince your dad that your mom is cheating on him.
Lionesse 15
Now tell me, how would that help anything? I get that the OP might be upset that her Mom is saying stuff about her sexuality but you really don't have to overstep your boundaries and potentially wreck a marriage. Now that won't help anyone.
HowieDoIt 21
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. You're a cold penguin ;)
generalasskicker 12
That's why you blind everyone else first then they can't see to blind you
PenguinBitch 43
16-it's only a suggestion if OP is bored. It's her decision to do it or not. I doubt I'll influence her.
vadaaa 11
You called me a lesbian, so I'm gonna ruin your marriage! Aw yeah!
hunny797 5
You could have provided her with some other form of entertainment
andyyroxx 20
Hereby supporting that lesbian accusation. Yes, good idea.
ChristinaAAR 14
She has reached a new level of boredom right there.
hunny797 5
Hahaha
rattusrattus 18
You know, if your mother is really that bored, it's possible to buy a beginner's descant recorder for about £5. A novice tunebook isn't much more. It depends on whether you favour the potential for horrible screeching noises or having your mother tell progressively bizarre falsehoods about you.
Lunasis 14
I don't really see the problem aside from the fact your mom is rather immature, just blow it off
outoftown 26
"The fact your mom is rather immature" is, by definition, a rather big problem. It's supposed to be the other way around.
6tori6 5
That's ******* hilarious
upallnight11 19
Tell her to get a life.
DeBoss 8
Fantastic prank! Gotta your mom,,,,
b_rizo 6
Honestly your mom is hilarious.
vadaaa 11
It's okay OP. There's an ongoing joke in my family that I'm a lesbian. It doesn't bother me, and it shouldn't bother you (unless your dad is homophobic, which doesn't seem likely because your mother probably wouldn't tell him that knowing that he would hate or not like you for it)