Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Woah, mom got game. Go mom!
Poppy8127 15
Moms are the best.
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Comments (111)
dakatabg 31
Not a good mom
dakatabg 31
Not at all
goodoldave 17
Take out your notepad op.
buddy51 23
OP, clearly your mom's throwing down a challenge for you. Drink up, pull yourself together and show your mom how it's really done!!!
AshaaFerreira 22
What are you implying her to do.... Leave with three guys?
RedPillSucks 33
A guy, a girl, and a tranny.
PhotoSmith 25
No midget love?
buddy51 23
A plumper, a furry, a little and you, OP, doing an Alabama hot pocket, a dirty Sanchez, and every sex act from "50 Shades of Gray" should top your mom nicely!
anythingmustbe 18
Your mum was really in the wrong. You should give me her number so I can erm... Tell her off! That's it. Yeah give me her number and I will let her have it...
Protagonist_ 9
Catch a fish for a man and he can eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can eat for life. If you let your mom do the fishing for you don't expect to always get fed.
buckdharma 38
#19- Women don't fish, they catch.
FMLephant 2
Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Learn how to flirt.
anythingmustbe 18
Your mum is like the female version of Barney Stinson.
sameboysamesame 11
ur mom obviously has no issue with dp. u could learn from her
theantonlolz 11
Wow, a mom doing a threesome
Futacy 30
Hmm, should I make a yo mama joke? Nah, too easy.
perdix 31
No one here is good at math! Mom is going to have a foursome. We all forgot about Dad! Of course, maybe he just holds the camera.