Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Wizardo 34
Woah, mom got game. Go mom!
Poppy8127 15
Moms are the best.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Neither of the guys was interested in a sportsman's double? Bummer.
jem970 19
Im glad no one considers my mom a MILF. My self esteem is low enough LOL
gary3768 13
All I can say is WOW
TheSofaKing 7
When I was in college, there was a mother and daughter also going there. One night, I screwed the daughter. A couple days later I went to their house and only the mother was there. I ended up screwing her. About a week later, I was invited over again. I ended up screwing both.
D3ATHZ3RO 15
Lol cockblock
rokolodo 10
Looks like Christmas visit you early, ho, ho, ho,
amifaiyaz 12
Oh wow, lucky mom. Just wait til you grow her age. With any luck, if you look like her, you'll be scoring threesomes all the time.
blackvyper 8
Sorry about that...
lowshadows 21
didn't see that coming. she could at least save one for you, that's just selfish.
trippymane 6
Maybe the guys were looking at you not your mom...