Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
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Comments (152)
cgysoccerfreak 0
what an awesome mom...
AA357 0
What's wrong with that? So would I.
babymonkey422 0
LOL!! Thats amazing! :D
jeremybrnsred 0
I'd bang Dallas green. and i'm a dude... juss sayinn
jannie22 0
she's sexy! who cares!?
suckmysarcasm 10
so...im confused..does this mean your mom is a "holla back girl" ? if so maybe she should call Gwen so they can "wind it up" and prepare for the "great escape".
iBiteRoses 22
That shit is bananas
Luxord33 8
I would **** Gwen Stefani. Let me know when you find somebody who wouldn't.
ViQValentine 3
If I tried to post something everytime my mum said that she wanted to "bang" some famous person, I would never be off this website. So in other words, it's not a big deal. And yes, a fourteen year old is basically telling you to grow up. Anyways, I bet you'd bang her too, but at least your mum isn't posting it about you.
lellalove_fml 23
My mom says that sober. And she's been married to my stepdad for eleven years.