Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
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Comments (152)
xxissuesxx 0
Dude, your mom is awesome.
qwertyuiopz 0
that is such a turn on
waterynuggets 0
Sounds like my mom tbh
joeyishellagood 0
I don't blame her... Gwen is a fox and a half.
swingthedisk13 0
i definitely concur with your mother on that one
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gizmo_987 0
I think it's safe to say that the majority of people don't care, lol. But I have to agree with your mom
vola97 0
thts ok i have seen lesbo moms before perfectly nautral NOT SICKO *(squishy,squashy)*
JDsaltyfalls9 0
i laughed so hard when i read this i peed a little...FYL dude
Pizzabutt 0
Go mom!