Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
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Top comments
Peroxide 3
That shit is BANANAS!
akiro525 3
who wouldn't?
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Comments (152)
muffinsareyummy 1
your mom and i have that in common.
duchesse427 0
your life isn't ****** but in no shape or form do you deserve that, like why do people feel the need to put "you deserve it"
bumble3 0
this is not worthy of an fml. who wouldn't want to have sex with gwen stefani? I just saw no doubt in concert the other night, and throughout the whole show I was thinking the same thing as your mother!
Kohaku_Jun_Shior 0
If I had an opprotunity to, I'd defiantely bang Gwen Stefani! And I'm a woman. Though, to some people that might be embarassing. If it is... well... it'll be okay, it's not like she said she'd bang one of your friends. Look on the brighter side of things and think of Gwen naked! It always cheers me up :)
becominginsane 0
hahahhaha it is just awesome your mom rocks!!
DynamicDave 11
Your mom FTW! I agree lol
aqu4man 0
Did your mom immediately afterwards throw up on or around anyone? no? Then she didn't have too many!
jpest17 5
rofl #2 couldent have said it better
kirinkinetic 0
I'm touched..Let me illustrate my feelings. ::Attempting to give a damn:: ::loading:: ::20% complete:: ::45% complete:: ::50% complete:: ::ERROR:: ::An error occurred during upload, damn not given:: This isn't an FML it is just a bloody bad case of embarrassment now suck it up and put your big boy/girl undies on and deal with it.
judomemo 0
I would have busted out laughing