Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I found out my mom had been sleeping with most of my ex-boyfriends. When I was told about it the first time, I took it as a joke. Now I know it's true. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
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Top comments
wrestlerbeast 0
that sucks, but YDI don't lie to parents, they always know....
tbbucs 0
don't have sex if you can't own up to it. at least she didn't find a pregnancy test
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Comments (111)
sexyblonde78 0
haha! well that sucks! and just because you have a sex book that doesn't mean ur having sex.... hehe ;)
jakeomatic 0
You feel sorry for yourself because you lied to your parents and got caught? YDI.
digigun 0
thats why the only gifts i give my gf are pearl necklaces
Eddie_Paints 0
You could have told her it was "research" for when you do get married, so you won't be totally ignorant of your hubby's needs! There you go.... lie continued!
what_the_fail 0
****
xxzRAMBOzxx 0
Omg... that happened to me a week ago. I'm not kidding. this exact situation happened to me last week... hope your parents haven't been as hard on you as mine have
That_One_Chick7 0
Hahaha that's what you get.
Jason_Q 4
Oh my!!!!!!!
geeson 0
smart!!
likeyummy 0
ok thats not even bad at all