Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I found out my mom had been sleeping with most of my ex-boyfriends. When I was told about it the first time, I took it as a joke. Now I know it's true. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
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Top comments
wrestlerbeast 0
that sucks, but YDI don't lie to parents, they always know....
tbbucs 0
don't have sex if you can't own up to it. at least she didn't find a pregnancy test
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Comments (111)
masterblaster39 0
I don't see how this is your FML. You deceived your mother into thinking you still hold the V card. Apparently you don't have a good enough relationship to talk to her about being sexually active. This is an FML for mom. YDI.
theeBeezWaXx 0
haha, you really shouldnt let your mom clean your room. thats your responsiblity
tugknife 0
you should confess to all the nasty shit you've been doing. tell her you like anal and tell her she should be happy she found a book and not one of your many Porno's you filmed. you should also start cleaning your own room.
onnielief 4
What is every parent obsession about their kids remaining virgins? Obviously they themselves had sex to result in said children. can you spell hypocrit?
mashnikandporter 0
obviously you can't.
krgreat 0
hypocrite Hun
onnielief 4
Nope, I cannot, however how well is your grammar holding up when writing in your second language? Assuming you even speak a second language.
Freeze_fml 17
This is legendary.
cartius 0
ydi for keeping evidence around.
distortedx 0
Shut up you self righteous prick
distortedx 0
That was meant for #54
MJFG100 0
FYL for being lazy and letting your mom clean your room.
aaron084 0
That's why you don't keep a detailed sex book.
mashnikandporter 0
obviously you can't.
mashnikandporter 0
previous statement retracted, sorry :)
SBismylife 0
ah...that sux but hey! no one cant say that they ever lied to their parents before. even if its a big or little deal. thats being hypocritical. plus, how old are you for your mom to clean your own room? keep yo shit well hidden. :]