Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was laying on the couch when my cat decided to join. Instead of jumping, he opted to climb. While he was climbing, he put his paw on my junk and got his claws stuck there. He then tried to force them out, which hurt even more. It took almost a full minute to break him free. FML
Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML
Today, my cat was sleeping on me while I was laying in bed. I had to use the washroom, so I pushed him off. Except he used my testicles as a way to latch on to me, through my underwear. Let's just say, after having to change the sheets due to blood, I'm considering wearing a jockstrap. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML
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Top comments
truslide 0
i am so sick of this pussy on pussy crime!!! LOL
mooseman 0
kinky.
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Comments (328)
natalieryanlol 0
Wow what is wrong with half the people on here This girl is obviously in a lot of pain and your mocking her Fuckheads, would you like a cat to claw into your ******? Get a ******* life
Virtuoso 0
All the girls/women immediately getting defensive and arguing that the ****** has more nerve endings or it will hurt just as much. Think for a second, the point here is a guy has a lot more for a cat to claw into down there, unless you all have freakishly huge labia that you need to fold up inside your underwear.
nodbor 11
pussy on pussy
love_is_pain 0
#62 wtf ur asshole i dont think u would like to enjoy claws on ur crotch no matter how long or where 3195 hahahahahhaha oh and im rele sorry dat must have hurt!!
MrFail_fml 0
you ******* deserved it
AJComix 0
22#, what the ****? And OP only used the word "proceeded" ONCE.
that_guy_you_are 0
MrFail is right. Don't stick kittens in your fuckng ****** and then complain about it on the interent. YDI.
IreadFMLnaked 0
Wow, #22 is awesome. My coworkers are looking weird at me cause I can't stop laughing.
juan8888 0
bad..
on_a_boat 0
#153 No, don't tell anyone that. Declawing a cat is essentially mutilating it, it's like lopping off the top parts of a human's fingers. Cats can develop problems walking around because of it, and furthermore, you're stripping the animal of its ability to defend itself should it ever find itself in a situation where it needs to do so. Sorry, I had to comment, because I can't stand that people would do this to their animals for ******* frivolous reasons. It's very cruel and utterly unnecessary.