Kids: Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen... - FML

By burn - 01/08/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 964

You deserved it 3 500

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 123

You deserved it 7 963

Hot lava

By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 15:00

Today, after not having coffee for ages, I finally remembered why I stopped drinking it. I literally just shit my pants, and I’m about to start a ten-hour day with 27 fifth graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 267

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 787

You deserved it 35 312

By KitKat20 - 18/10/2016 13:05 - United States - Fargo

Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 350

You deserved it 1 543

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 133

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 518

You deserved it 4 027

By eminem blows cock - 15/06/2012 16:41 - Ireland - Kilflynn

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 294

You deserved it 9 746

The struggle is real

By WiredUp - 21/08/2020 13:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my step-kids proudly announced that their mum lets them drink coffee at her house. They both have ADD and I've been struggling for months to get them to eat right. Hello futility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 176

Bad day

By it hurts!! - 29/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 161

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Monday 1 August 2011 23:02

Just let it all out during the meeting. They like it when people express themselves.

mrfunbun01 1

Monday 1 August 2011 23:02

Put lax in their food next time you make them dinner.

Comments

xxkatastrophiexx 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:06

It's the thought that counts rite?

bigbadtim 7

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:09

Laxatives do loosen you up, so to speak.

LogoFoSho 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:18

put Heroine in some CUPCAKES FOR EM :D

ItsApril 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:33

Time for an ass whooping!

kaykay20 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:46

It's nice that they care enough to do something to help but you should let them know laxatives are to relax your stool to help you poop not your whole well being. I hope they don't sneak another other stuff in you like blood thinners. You really should sit down and talk with them before you end up taking to much of something.

kaykay20 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:49

*sneak other stuff

mike3775 35

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:49

I see some grounded kids for the next 6-9 months if mine did that. thats if they lived through the night after they told me that they did it of course

sparxva 12

Tuesday 2 August 2011 2:19

Sounds like a spanking is a comin'

eminemchick 19

Tuesday 2 August 2011 14:41

then they'll tell the boss their dad gave their punishment "in the butt".

kaylapple 1

Tuesday 2 August 2011 2:55

put some in their food!

jren207 24

Tuesday 2 August 2011 2:59

I hope there are toilets at your interview.

mattd23 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:01

AHAH!! That sucks u shud do that to them

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