Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep, my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML
Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML
Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML
Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
I actually feel sorry for you, unlike the girl with insomnia who complained about the firetrucks. That really does suck. I've been there. Noise-cancelling headphones and white noise players can help. I would've taken something regardless though. Unless it's 5AM. To everyone who's going to say "Shame on you for thinking your parents don't have sex!" Or whatnot, how would you feel if you woke up in the middle of the night to your mom screaming? It's a little TMI.
czechgirl78 0
ewww i heard my parents having sex too once.....its very unpleasant. especially having to face them afterwards :-/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
loveyahun 0
Aw... That must suck hearing that when you are about to fall asleep... FYL
piercebuddy 0
that's when you get into bed with mommy and ask if you can join in the Fun!!
sk8ergirl553 0
ewwww i heard it too! its so awkward. it only happened to me once.
iftheglovefits 0
i have insomnia too. It gets worse on Christmas eve
astriofou 0
should have had a moaning battle and see who can win it :3
KathyBoobs 0
The same shit happens to me all the mutherfuckin time!!!!!
jaybear13 14
yeah..