Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep, my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML
Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML
Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML
Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
I actually feel sorry for you, unlike the girl with insomnia who complained about the firetrucks. That really does suck. I've been there. Noise-cancelling headphones and white noise players can help. I would've taken something regardless though. Unless it's 5AM. To everyone who's going to say "Shame on you for thinking your parents don't have sex!" Or whatnot, how would you feel if you woke up in the middle of the night to your mom screaming? It's a little TMI.
czechgirl78 0
ewww i heard my parents having sex too once.....its very unpleasant. especially having to face them afterwards :-/
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Comments (128)
24788 7
I have insomnia too and it takes years to fall asleep.
Sappheyes 0
FYL for having insomnia. It could have been anything that kept you up, though. Good for your parents for having an active sex life. And perhaps, not FYL because you have parents that are still together and are attracted to each other?
voveraite 7
Yay, one of the few wise posters here! :) Now OP, if you want to avoid any kind of noise (as the FYL here is for your insomnia, not for the reason of it), soft foam earplugs are an option, and a pretty efficient one for that matter. It helped me get through a former roommate's party, so a couple going at it would have been no biggie.
ForWhatItsWorth 0
Different person, same story. I sujjest tiring yourself out physically.
cucuto89 0
if you know your about to fall asleep, then you have too much consiousness to fall asleep
GabriLee 0
Not always. I can tell when I am about to fall asleep a lot of the time.
fmlmonkey 0
I don't know it could be the ambient music put them in the mood ... that chill jazz just might be your problem.
atomicthumbs 0
Ambient music isn't jazz music. It's stuff like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_4pe3ZVAGk
georgie2486 0
That happened to me the other night. In fact the exact same thing.
plexico 4
You ungrateful ****! If your parents didn't like having sex with each other, you wouldn't exist! You think that once they produced you, it's "game over" and they should become celibate cold fish like you? You prick!
Signposthead 0
Kill Yourself :D
crazzle 0
Oh my. You are either incredibly stupid or a prick. Perhaps a combination of both.
plexico 4
Especially if they are calling out instructions!
beachbabe725 0
f you
thelonelylurker 0
Could be the reason for your insomnia in the first place. That would be pretty disturbing.
cman85 1
fake. you sent in one that was the same thing but firetrucks went by. i doubt they both happened on the same night. if it did, then yeah, fyl, but this is fake otherwise.
GabriLee 0
The post was made by two different people. The first by a woman in Colorado and the second by a man in California.
ChurchofFagenism 0
giggedy ******* giggedy, my friend woah, grossed myself out there.