FML : Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only...

146

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By -____- - / Saturday 5 October 2013 21:28 / United States - Seattle

Intimacy

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By thatonetree | 9

#5704573 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:26

That is a pretty impressive skill. You gotta give it to him

By ABillOnFire | 15

#5704577 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:27

it's reasons like this we were placed on this planet

Comments

By thatonetree | 9

#5704573 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:26

That is a pretty impressive skill. You gotta give it to him

tjv3 | 10

#5704620 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:40

Yeah that is pretty impressive

Riku714 | 25

#5704622 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:40

I have to agree, that's a pretty amazing skill

shaww | 28

#5704642 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:47

Except when the baby wakes up from the yelling

whiteboy896 | 9

#5704655 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:53

Give it "it"?

MileyC | 2

#5704669 - Sunday 6 October 2013 3:06

absolutely not. this is divorce worthy. that's is SO unsanitary of her husband.

Op you should reconsider your marriage

Welshite | 39

#5704682 - Sunday 6 October 2013 3:14

Hey, Miley, don't you have a foam finger to violate? Go take your idiotic ramblings somewhere else.

Pwn17 | 25

#5704727 - Sunday 6 October 2013 3:53

38- Right, and that also gives us the freedom to criticize her. It was a stupid comment.

SarMarJo | 17

#5704768 - Sunday 6 October 2013 4:34

#33, I'm sure his penis has been in other places. IN.

ChevyRedneck85 | 13

#5704783 - Sunday 6 October 2013 4:45

How'd he do that?

Ch_rae5 | 19

#5704815 - Sunday 6 October 2013 5:13

Wouldn't that kinda hurt?

Gurami | 8

#5704845 - Sunday 6 October 2013 5:37

Hihihi

obnum | 19

#5704866 - Sunday 6 October 2013 6:04

Has no use, but yeah, pretty good skill. How'd he do it?

camsterjoe | 12

#5704876 - Sunday 6 October 2013 6:12

What I want to know is 'soft or hard?'

Chris93Jones | 20

#5704934 - Sunday 6 October 2013 7:34

I don't know why, but I am wondering more details, soft or hard? head or on the hole?

sonuskos | 6

#5705103 - Sunday 6 October 2013 11:02

He's gonna be the first man to spin on his 'head'.

dingleberrysteve | 6

#5705276 - Sunday 6 October 2013 15:24

Wait, what kinda top? Wouldn'it hurt if if goes into the hole?

Aky0n | 10

#5706309 - Monday 7 October 2013 6:09

Today, i posted an fml post about my husband getting excited over spinning a top on his penis. All the comments approved, fml.

TheNewGuy03 | 26

#5706417 - Monday 7 October 2013 8:34

He's a dickhead b-boy. Shit, he might be able to do cock push-ups, too.

skuester | 4

#5707814 - Tuesday 8 October 2013 4:47

It's the balls that hurt

By Cheeley | 17

#5704574 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:26

Well OP, that is pretty impressive.

Damian95 | 16

#5704747 - Sunday 6 October 2013 4:10

I'm surprised OP didn't blow her top off! Anyone? Ok...

Ch_rae5 | 19

#5704817 - Sunday 6 October 2013 5:15

is it just me or does his profile pic match his comment perfectly?

ilytyvm | 25

#5704832 - Sunday 6 October 2013 5:24

Lmfao. it does. I was thinking that.

zuixdoll504 | 4

#5704910 - Sunday 6 October 2013 6:50

what a keeper.good job op

blinked_281 | 29

#5704943 - Sunday 6 October 2013 7:45

I really want to see how he's doing this

gabbi630 | 16

#5705129 - Sunday 6 October 2013 12:24

Pic or it didn't happened.

By ABillOnFire | 15

#5704577 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:27

it's reasons like this we were placed on this planet

FiFiLovee | 26

#5704944 - Sunday 6 October 2013 7:45

This is why aliens won't talk to us...

By QuantumLife | 12

#5704578 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:27

Hey! Don't knock it. I'd love for my boyfriend to tell me that!

Allennis44 | 16

#5704884 - Sunday 6 October 2013 6:19

It IS pretty impressive

By Grayness_ | 26

#5704579 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:28

I'm sorry but that's pretty impressive haha.

SilverInGray | 25

#5704699 - Sunday 6 October 2013 3:28

It sounds kind of painful to me.

By TylerAnderson98 | 10

#5704580 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:28

He's a keeper.

evan_7899 | 28

#5711732 - Friday 11 October 2013 4:12

He is the definition of a keeper

By Nyx_fml | 23

#5704583 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:28

It sounds like your husband definitely likes to have fun in the bedroom.

By TheOnlyKittyKat | 15

#5704584 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:29

YouTube that shit. Or YouPorn. I bet someone, somewhere is into that.

Grayness_ | 26

#5704607 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:33

YouPorn ? Haha
Talking from experience or?...

jc981987 | 7

#5704877 - Sunday 6 October 2013 6:12

The fact that you know what youporn is is kind of hot :P

JustKittyKat | 24

#5704918 - Sunday 6 October 2013 7:15

Hm...
The "only" kitty Kat, hm?

JustKittyKat | 24

#5704922 - Sunday 6 October 2013 7:22

Well I thought I was funny. I even imagined the epic, "There can only be one!"

By MEM0817 | 18

#5704587 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:29

Ahhh. Men. They never fully grow up. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes, not so much.

AmexBlack | 24

#5704724 - Sunday 6 October 2013 3:47

Ahhh. Women. They never shut up. Sometimes they moan. Sometimes they nag.

addioty | 19

#5704800 - Sunday 6 October 2013 4:56

Generalization. . . *sigh*

steffidallasbfl | 16

#5705047 - Sunday 6 October 2013 9:35

It's funny. Not immature. Dang.

By Enslaved | 36

#5704589 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:29

Woohoo time to break out the basketball!

DKjazz | 20

#5704611 - Sunday 6 October 2013 2:36

*Whistles "Sweet Georgia Brown"*

Enslaved | 36

#5704882 - Sunday 6 October 2013 6:16

Harlem Globetrotter's theme! Haha (:

DKjazz | 20

#5705424 - Sunday 6 October 2013 17:22

Not everybody knows that's the name of the tune, I guess.

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Intimacy

Nearly

Today, I got in trouble because my teacher called my parents to tell them that I ditched school/ didn't come back after lunch even though I was in school....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I was lying on my bed watching TV, when my auto air freshener misted and a huge glob of liquid pain shot from it hit my tear duct. I was almost...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

Loading data…

Canada

Today, we left the cat alone all day for the first time in months, and came back home 11.5 hours later to three enormous puddles of vomit. We then spent...