Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years got down on one knee with the most beautiful ring box I’d ever seen. My heart raced and my eyes immediately filled with tears in anticipation! When he finally opened it, a fucking spider was inside! I nearly shat myself in terror while he laughed hysterically. FML
Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fmljerry26 3
Spiderman obviously.
LordoftheOcelots 10
C'mon people, use your head. We all know Charlotte's Web takes the cake.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
escobar07 10
Ok so hr has a phobia of spiders? What the hell does that even have to do with getting a movie? Do you need a dictionary lol
wanderingshopper 13
Obviously you do.
RikkaDear 2
Well, it's obvious that her favorite movie has a great deal of spiders. The only movie I can think of is Eight Legged Freaks, though there are plenty more spider-based movies out and about. So, the cover probably has a spider on it, or maybe it's just a mind thing where he knows it's a movie about spiders and he can't bear the thought to bring it home. Simple. I don't understand how that is so hard to comprehend. :s
wanderingshopper 13
There are absolutely NO movies in our house about spiders or clowns. When my husband is in the mood for either one he watches on Netflix in another room and warns me not to come in. (He's the very best!!!)
KawaiiMira 1
My husband plays a game that has a lot of spiders in it. He always tells me not to look at his screen when he gets into a spider heavy area.
KawaiiMira 1
I suffer from Arachnophobia too. At least he tried. Poor thing.
FailingKing 4
What's the movie
beckyxD 13
Am I the only one who thinks this FML makes no sense?
iAmPaul 49
This story wasn't very well explained in my opinion.
Blurry_1 0
A bug's life? Spiderman? Spiderman 3 I might understand.
Eiregal2 10
Munnhh
Eiregal2 10
Ah shit! I was falling asleep and I guess the iPod took over,
mowmowlife 21
YDI for leaving it to your husband to do when he obviously doesn't bode well in that situation. Had you been guilting and shaming him ever since you discovered his phobia, too? Or 'face your fears' treatment?