Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Will you…
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years got down on one knee with the most beautiful ring box I’d ever seen. My heart raced and my eyes immediately filled with tears in anticipation! When he finally opened it, a fucking spider was inside! I nearly shat myself in terror while he laughed hysterically. FML
They're not real
Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML
Are you kidding me?
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML
Top comments
fmljerry26 3
Spiderman obviously.
LordoftheOcelots 10
C'mon people, use your head. We all know Charlotte's Web takes the cake.
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Comments (168)
MisssEpiccAlii 8
Eight legged freaks? Lol. Poor him, I can relate.
DeadxManxWalking 27
18-legs?
benb8774 5
What does arachnophobia have to do with getting a movie?
UsagiArwen 23
Well if it's a movie about spiders, and if someone's so deathly afraid of spiders, they might not even be able to pick up the dvd box if a spider is pictured on the box itself. And yes, this level of arachnophobia is entirely possible. There are people so deathly afraid of spiders they can't even go within an arm's length of a PICTURE of a spider.
Iniezian 18
That used to be me. When I was younger, I would totally lose it when I saw even a daddy longlegs or one of those harmless little black spiders. Today, my arachnophobia is a bit better, though even a picture or video of a giant tarantula will scare me like absolutely nothing else in the world can scare me. Literally. Whenever you see a picture of a big hairy tarantula, and especially a video, you automatically brace yourself and get really jittery and practically cry. Curiously, though, I have never, ever found black widows scary. Even at the height of my arachnophobia, I found them a bit cute. So yes, the fear is pretty irrational.
UsagiArwen 23
Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything negative about people who suffer from arachnophobia to that level. I can fully understand it because to a lesser degree I too have arachnophobia. Now, okay I *can* watch movies about spiders, and touch dvd cases or pictures where there are spiders, but if there's a real one in the room with me and I am watching it move around, oh hell no. Nope, I can't deal. And if I step on one barefooted or touch it in any way....I *will* scream bloody murder. But that's my level of arachnophobia, and everyone is different in how far their fear goes, or what they're willing to do to deal with it. Fear of spiders isn't completely irrational either. My dad was bitten by a brown recluse and dealt with necrotic arachnidism, which literally means death to tissue caused by a spider bite. It was awful to see.
Lucious306 7
It's the thought that counts
davek 36
So your favourite movie is something he's afraid of, you continue to push it, he tried, and you bash him for it? YDI.
kerrywoodwins20 2
I hate being a dick, but what kind of man is too afraid to pick up a box with spiders on it? How does a woman even respect a grown man that is more cowardly than the average three year old?
Vacant 7
You do realize a phobia is an irrational fear, right? People can't help it, it's not like he's choosing to be that afraid of spiders.
kerrywoodwins20 2
Lol.
MadameMerle 11
Sometimes, being a dick is OK man, but do you know what never is? Sharing an opinion that clearly shows you know too less of the subject to even have an opinion
kerrywoodwins20 2
Dude, I understand what phobias are. I am claustrophobic. But guess what? I still get on a tiny little plane even though I'm 6"4 and the flight itself is miserable for me. I take a deep breath and realize it is irrational because I'm a grown assed man. For a man to succumb to pictures of spiders is embarrassing.
wanderingshopper 13
Well not only are you a dick but you also need to look up the definition before you start comparing someone to a three year old.
KawaiiMira 1
Seriously. Don't be such a dick. It's all about the person's perception.
TrueFG 2
I would think claustrophobia would pertain to include much smaller areas than a plane, such as a closet or bathroom, which is extremely small on a plane.
joethebiden 8
As you didn't say what movie it was, I'm going to go on a limb and assume it was Eight-Legged Freaks. Which was a terrible movie, spiders notwithstanding. If it is, well, YDI, it goes to show that your taste in movies is just as weak as your taste in men.
josiemorehouse 12
OP: at least he tried. I have severe arachnophobia, and I can't even look at a picture of a spider without freaking out. Last time my hubby watched "Arachnophobia", I couldn't even be anywhere near him, I was in another room. I could still hear it and I got upset. He can't help a phobia. And you people that are revoking his man-card: that's mean!! I don't have to see a live spider in front of my face to react to it: pictures are just as bad. If you don't understand that, you have no idea what a phobia is and have no business judging this guy!! OP: cut your guy some slack. Tape something over the DVD to cover it so he doesn't have to see it.
RvidxrKlvn 8
Why are so many white people scared of spiders?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
At least his heart was in the right place.