By JC - 26/03/2012 20:56 - United States - Villa Ridge

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 840
You deserved it 6 111

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Top comments

jazziness 12

Doesn't matter, had sex.

tripangelx8 4

the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed


Wth were u doin?

How do you manage to misspell 3 out of the 4 words used in your comment?

raney150 0

Technically that person only misspelled 2 words. Wth stands for "What the hell".

Wth were u (you really couldnt add y and o?) doin ( and a g. Seriously? 3 letters made it look sloppy$

Calm down. It's the Internet, not an english class. If spelling errors bug you that much than why are you on FML?

So tru 31 :P

KiddNYC1O 20

FML has rules, kids.

jazziness 12

Doesn't matter, had sex.

why does someone always say this?

I just had sex - little island ft akon. It's extremely overused.

It was hilarious like the first 10 times though. Haha

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Lol @ little island

nofearjenshere 12

It's definitely getting old, on basically every FML in the intimacy category someone says it :p

MrGroovy28 7

Typically the people who post that nonsense either don't have the opportunity to have sex or settle for any type of sexual interaction regardless of results.

omarzrgz 3

Shouldn't it be "Doesn't matter, had oral sex" in this case?

Am I the only one who wants to know what the website is? I want to leave a link to it on my boyfriend's phone...

#75 if you really wanted to find out just type it into google...

Wow lol! Ur funny xD

Yeah I'm sick of that dam joke. The idea that no matter what happens the fact that you had sex always overrides it was funny at first, but now it's just plain annoying. You're not funny when you can't think of more than one good joke in your lifetime.

DenBriZel 31

am I the only one who still thinks this is funny every time? I love The Lonely Island. :)

hateevryone 14

Hahaha you weren't doing something right

blackbelt25 12

You don't say?

At least he cared enough to try. Maybe his girlfriend will be kind enough to help him get it right next time.

it might have been, it might have felt amazing but if you look funny you'll get a giggle or two. she'll get over it when she gets used to it. keep it up OP! dedicated!

Wonderful username.

tripangelx8 4

the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed

Soooo where's comment 1???

Can you send that article to my boyfriend? Maybe that way i'll orgasm for once. =P

Sex isn't everything. If you want to have an orgasm then show him what you want and don't be a bitch about it on FML.

How *you* doin'? *winks*

Damn... Try again.

Good idea. Keep at it till you get it right.

Im guessing it didn't work?

hawkey126 0


Dude he's being sarcastic nothing to Durrr about

Haha I'd love to know what you were trying on her!

Well by the sounds of it, he was going down on her. I have a disturbing yet funny mental image.

guinea14 0

Haha 10, so do I.

it was well worded. I cant stop thinking about giraffes bobbing for apples. Gotta say op, your gf has a way with words. Good luck on the next go.

#74 I hope not. Op would have bigger problems if his gf was that wide.

I_Hug_Cats 26

Error 404. Please try again later... Or in this case, maybe you shouldn't.

It's all in the wrist, bro.

I think the op was using his face.

Yeah...but he should've been using his hand.

Cubanloverllera 12

no its not

If you'd read the fine print, you would have noticed that the "Circus Animal" position is only effective on about 1 in 8,634 girls. And even that is pushing it. Better luck next time buddy.