Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML
Today, my boss had me walk a mile to the nearest store to get food for a party because she didn't want to lose her parking space at work. Her shopping list had two gallons of juice and a 10lb bag of ice... I had my legs and arms. FML
Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck. I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML
Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML
Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML
Today, I finally got to take the bus to the store on this icy cold day. I got there at 1 pm and found it closed. Their website said they'd open late at 10 am. Then, I missed a bus home and had to walk back in the ice and sludge. I slipped, fell on my ass, and my shoes and socks got soaked in dirty ice water. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I ran out of cash. The nearest ATM to my house is over a half hour away by foot. After walking all the way there under the blistering heat of the sun, I realized I'd left my card back at home. FML
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
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Top comments
karamman 5
4 miles for some ice cream? Now that's determination
Dracoboxer357 36
So, you purchased 1000 kgs of ice-cream (plus whatever the difference is between a shit-tonne and a regular tonne is), with a distance of 6.4 kms needed to travel, in an environment of roughly 46'C, which gives you an estimated time of 10 minutes before it's melted beyond consumption........Interesting. I guess the only question I have to that is, can you and your husband maintain a running speed of no less than 38.4 km/h, with a tonne strapped to your combined asses, for 10 solid minutes? Because if not, you may not have thought this through very well. :)
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Comments (141)
ganjaone 2
Hopefully u guys aren't planning to be parents any time soon
leadawg75 12
I agree with ya girl, that was just plain rude of him :P
Yodaevil 4
Really? They can't think 15 minutes ahead, let alone years. Op is the kind of person who'd leave their kid in the car at 115° as they ran in for ice cream.... Oh wait, op doesn't have a car, nor bike. Where do they leave the kid then? yup, they'd make excellent parents all right
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Here's an idea, you take the kid into the store with you.
Enslaved 38
You're going to walk 4 miles back home with a shit load of groceries? Admit it, you stole the shopping cart didn't you?
Octwo 16
Herp to the derp to the herpity derp. Pretty much sums it up.
bizarre_ftw 22
Were you high?!
haycassidy 7
I'm gunna guess no.
mbanks4844 0
Lies, my guess is Your in Arizona!?, it's not humid so it wouldn't melt
BunnyRose 11
Um Taxi?
Jawzx01 7
Guess we found the reason you can't afford a car...
Fmlsea 28
the heat really doesn't make people think well.
fmessiah 19
For future reference a metric 'ton' is spelt 'tonne', a 'ton' is the imperial measurement. Ice cream food fight would be a fun, though messy way to cool down in the heat and use up the ice cream you couldn't consume before it began to melt.
shiarrael 13
Call a taxi? Rent a car when you need to go shopping? Buy a cheap used car?