Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
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Comments (203)
blanccamaro74 6
u just got married so finish blowing him and u can talk and it later
Skatejock21 0
quite frankly, when you put a swear in that sentence, not that I'm entirely against swearing, but there's a time and a place for that kind of talk, and I honestly now have no sympathy for you, it actually makes me feel like you do deserve it because you actually sound like an angry person and will be a real pain the arse to your husband. Good luck to your husband!
MissRoxiie 12
thats gross, but mens are mens, can't change them
Wafflesofheroin 0
So, you're saying you just swore yourself to this man for life, and you can't deal with the prospect of him voiding his bowels? ARE YOU THAT ******* STUPID?!?!
tngmtntnnjatrtl 1
She's okay with the fact that he *****. She is not okay with the possibility of walking by and accidentally seeing him ******** because he left the door open. That's gross.
FMLRNFR 0
at least you 2 can still have a conversation while hes takin a shit since the door is open
laczko86 0
omg thats so funny!!
daeemann 1
nasty muthafucka, lol.
KarenAnn 0
its okay my bf told me when were married that if i really love him ill hold his hand while he *****
Jenneatszombies 0
I guess he's watched step brothers (;
MidgetInvasion 14
i think you should keep him. you never know what other entertaining things he can do