Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my husband was arrested on 2 felony charges in a sting. We've been married 5.5 years, had almost enough money for a down payment on a house, were trying to get pregnant, and had a non-refundable trip to London planned. We are now broke and on the verge of divorce. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I got pulled over for having an expired registration. I also found out my husband hasn't been paying for my car insurance. Luckily, I didn't get arrested because I had my baby with me. They towed my car and gave me two tickets and a court date. Oh, and the cop sent me a friend request. FML
Today, we missed our flights to our dream honeymoon destination, which we were lucky to get with so many flight cancellations, because my selfish stepdaughter anonymously called the airline to report us for drug smuggling, all because I married her dad this afternoon. FML
Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML
Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her unemployed stoner boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
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Top comments
Muffinish 0
Ouch. **** your life, also **** the 12 year-old daughter's life for having a deadbeat dad.
allmidnighteyes 11
On the next episode of Divorce Court....
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Comments (155)
PaulieeBooMN 0
sorrry I'm sure everyone noticed how I said the same thing twice in different words and it wasn't a reply, just to clear things up my phone doesn't let me reply directly to comments, and my 1st comment I didn't think go through so I commented again, sorry I rearranged the words a little
bennyl 0
I was reading the comments here and I couldn't just stay out of it. I had to make an account just to tell almost every last one of you to get your OWN heads out of your asses and realize that mistakes can be made! I saw one comment that sadly got hugely ignored, posing the very real possibility that he regrets the cheating from 12-13 years beforehand and could never get the guts to confess. You're all way to quick to jump on the "KILL HIM DIVORCE HIM END HIM" bandwagon and fail to realize that one incident, even if it can't be justified (which, of course, it can't) doesn't make him a terrible, horrible human being deserving of castration. MISTAKES CAN BE MADE. It's part of being human. You make it sound like he's no better than a crazed murderer or serial rapist. Jeez, people, learn to be less hateful. You'll like yourselves more for it.
annamg 0
Interesting how everybody tries to justify being unfaithful to your spouse - you know, the one you vowed to love, honor, and be true to for life. Keeping infidelity a secret for twelve years is not a "little mistake" that the wife can just "get over."
Isalamaba 0
divorce him he obviously cheated on you
bennyl 0
Did I say it was justified? No, I specifically stated in my post that it cannot be justified. What also cannot be justified are these comparisons to Hitler I'm seeing. No, nobody's actually calling him a Nazi, but I think I've heard NICER things about Hitler than about this guy who cheated once. Nobody's giving a damn about his side of the story. Nobody's even CONSIDERED it. They heard the woman's side, and side with the woman. Excuse me for remembering that the husband has a side of the story too and thinking maybe, just maybe, he isn't all bad.
parradise_fml 0
Yes!!! so true... i totally agree with you. he probably just couldnt get the guts together to admit his mistake, and lef the problem to fester and get worse. so true!!! nobodys perfect, and yes this is ****** up but its not the worst thing you could do by far!
II_OJs_glove_II 0
holy crap! if the kid is younger than 14 then you have an even bigger problem!
pokemyeyesout 0
What an ASSHOLE!
bellababe9712 0
the OP said for his 12 year old daughter...
skatergirl21 2
That's when u should **** the cop fyl
dzidziaud 5
My father hasn't payed child support for me for 7 years, and we've never managed to get him arrested.
The_Anwser 0
how did u not no where ur money was going that is ur fault keep a better track of ur money supply ydi
ChaosEngine 5
Re-read it. It says the husband MISSED the payments for the kid. As in did not make them. Ergo, there was no money going anywhere. In addition, even if he had only recently stopped paying child support, it's quite common for couples and spouses to have separate bank accounts. If the money in his account was what he was using, the wife would never know. Sucks to be you, OP. Just goes to show you never really know anyone.