Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
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Top comments
Zmeilerr 22
Use a bucket.
spazticechidna 2
Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.
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Comments (93)
zzzBOLTzzz 1
I like how you gave so much detail about his diarrhea while giving little to no details about your vomiting...
Hockeyboy4280 18
That's what I was thinking!!!
colhyena 3
because its not a big deal to poop in a toilet someone just puked it.. but to have your face so close puking in a toilet that someone just had explosive diarrhea in is
nevaless 3
if u were rich this wouldnt be such a big deal
louie111887 0
wow that must suck. use the sink like everyone else has said before me.
ydi_4_suking 20
Or you use the toilet. And he ***** in the sink
ChibiGirl5 0
lmao
Shiamah 0
lol!
jessisthabest 1
throw up out of the window.
UrTheWorstCharac 0
WTF? They didn't post this in Elizabethan England. Who the hell would throw up out of a window out of choice?
rattusrattus 19
Fun? You could make a game of hitting passing pedestrians. Also, in Elizabethan England, they did not directly crap/piss/puke etc. out of the window. They did it into a pot, which was then thrown out of the window.
ramboman19 8
why doesn't this app ever post my comments?
tanjoodo 3
Surprise Surprise...
kamiicult 0
#19 you aren't alone
MzKylz 0
Same
dantheman31297 0
hey look it did and same here
catkat1988 17
If I were you, I'd throw up into a bucket. :-)
docscientist 10
Sounds like a sensational situation!
grandpaearthling 2
the sound of your dry heaves is giving him the *****
Keyman1212 14
Well that stinks! Ehh, ehhhh??