Miscellaneous: Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good...

By Airhead - 06/11/2009 19:48 - Canada

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 817

You deserved it 6 655

Miscellaneous

Age difference

Dementia or hate? You decide

What a catch

First day

By notsogoodtrainee - 09/07/2015 17:02 - United States - Fargo

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 582

You deserved it 4 775

By Parent - 08/04/2018 23:00 - United States - Elkhart

Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 723

You deserved it 392

Cursed

By IHaveATypeAparently - 25/07/2021 06:01

Today, I found out one of my exes is trans. I’m very happy for her, but I’m starting to think I have the wrong type, as I have had 3 ex-boyfriends come out as gay and 3 come out at trans right after breaking up. I really hope my current boyfriend doesn’t have a secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 145

Worst sniper ever

By Anonymous - 23/07/2021 19:59

Today, I had to ban my teenage son from taking his phone into the bathroom, not because he looks at porn, but because he’s so engrossed in the screen, he doesn’t aim while he pees all over the seat and sometimes the floor, without cleaning it up. He’s not incapable, just fucking lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 128

By catherine - 17/06/2011 11:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 193

You deserved it 12 402

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 196

By Steve - 13/09/2017 04:30

Today, I helped my girlfriend pick out a pretty dress for a corporate event. It turns out the first use it was going to see was a date with her side dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 248

You deserved it 367

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels... or toilet paper... or soap... I'm really sticky right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 5 725

By smalls727 - 22/11/2016 17:46

Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat urine and moving further away from the other person. Only to get in my car and realize my cat peed in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 2 352

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 08:52 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 662

You deserved it 3 083

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 050

You deserved it 3 365

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 435

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 01:00

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 382

By Dartfrogger - 12/02/2015 19:16 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 2 964

By Anonymous - 24/09/2018 05:00

Today, getting home from a long day at work, I checked the mail and saw 3 envelopes from the IRS. Apparently I now owe over $4,000. I only have $2 in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 548

You deserved it 394

By katie - 27/01/2010 20:03 - France

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 571

You deserved it 3 861

By ivegotapackage - 05/01/2015 23:47 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 695

You deserved it 2 063

By Rants - 01/05/2019 16:00

Today, we've had some auditors with us and I chat with some of them during the day. It's Friday so I asked one of them until what time they were working. It was late and I loudly exclaimed, "That's so late! Your bosses have no hearts!" The auditor then points to their table where the boss is sitting. Glaring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 729

By nature - 25/09/2017 23:15

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 294

You deserved it 313

By Atletic - 30/11/2012 07:30 - United States - Syracuse

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 013

You deserved it 1 762

By MR - 10/03/2010 18:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 982

You deserved it 9 091

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 05:51 - United States

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 907

You deserved it 5 364

By ChopSuey - 01/06/2016 04:02 - United States - West Monroe

Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 829

You deserved it 1 591

By KittyNeko - 28/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 010

You deserved it 3 177

Classy guy.

By This_girll - 20/07/2018 19:30 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 527

You deserved it 348

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 133

You deserved it 1 366

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 04:26 - United States

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 2 213

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 08:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I called and went downtown after the city incorrectly issued fines against my property and threatened jail time for violating city ordinances, not paying fines, and not filing permits. They told me that, until fines are paid, they cannot correct a thing even though they got the address wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 343

You deserved it 268

By sadgirl - 10/06/2013 18:14 - United States - Conway

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 264

You deserved it 4 363

By BenjiFurImmer - 12/06/2019 00:07

Today, I found out that when my uncle died, he left me and the rest of my family £2000 each. Only my parents kept and spent my share on themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 316

You deserved it 109

By oped01 - 18/10/2016 00:15 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 908

You deserved it 959

Falling down

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 00:01

Today, I was doing laundry. I went to go grab a couple of detergent pods. Forgetting that I'm 5'3 and the pods are above the industrial-sized washer, I reached for them and fell backwards into a hole where the water from the washer goes. My left leg got soaked in dirt water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 175

By baby shak - 14/01/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 706

You deserved it 6 263

Are you sure?

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 11:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I sent a picture of my two little nephews to my friends, who now keep telling me how my older nephew looks exactly like me. They’re starting to make awkward statements such as, “Are you sure you didn’t have sex with your sister in-law?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 03:44 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 888

You deserved it 3 382

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 602

You deserved it 279

By Derps - 04/05/2011 09:11 - Denmark

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 449

You deserved it 39 312

By Sittinginthecorner - 20/01/2016 05:42 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I got a new roommate. He's from Mongolia. He has had 5 friends over for the last 7 hours, all speaking Mongolian. This is the most awkward party I have ever been to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 564

You deserved it 1 874

Mystery message service

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 20:02

Today, my two year-old opened one of my boyfriend's Snapchat messages. It was from a girl I've never heard of with, whom he has a 700+ day streak and is one of his top friends. The message said, "I wish?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 175

Dodged a bullet

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 22:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her father looked me up and down, said, “No” then went back to his TV. My girlfriend immediately broke up with me and threw me out. I even had to get a really expensive taxi home, because we’d driven in her car and I had no idea what part of the city I was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 820

You deserved it 125

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Top comments

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:43

He was probably telling you that you were a natural at acting, but obviously you're too airheaded to notice.

MermaidSongXOXO 6

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:39

Do you mean airheaded as in some stupid, or airheaded as in somebody who gets distracted easily and daydreams? If you're talking about someone who can't concentrate, daydreams, etc.. then no FML. It's called ADD (or ADHD if you're hyper), I have it, too, and it's no big deal (there's medication for it). If you're talking about being stupid....... sorry about your luck. Perhaps you could buy a new brain on Ebay (they sell EVERYTHING these days).

dnlphm94 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:18

YDI for being airheaded.

lendmeyourteeth 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:40

yeahhh seriously common sense isn't hard at all, think before you speak irl

ChreesCheung 0

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Saturday 7 November 2009 4:19

OP here: What makes it worse is that apparently in the original play, the character is actually slightly mentally retarded. *sigh*.

purpurp 0

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Saturday 7 November 2009 7:27

Well, She can't be "that" dumb because she was able to understand what people really think of her. Most dumbasses cant even understand that!

ScenicSubterfuge 39

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Sunday 28 April 2013 18:11

Haha>.< nice!!

Peachy2392 26

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Saturday 26 October 2013 6:42

25, OP is a he. Don't assume that OP is a girl just because the term "airhead" is being used.

z4opv14 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:20

hahaha, sucks to be you XD

Brooklynxman 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:23

That blows. Tell your guidance counselor, I'm sure he can help you see the bright side.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

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Saturday 7 November 2009 2:47

Why would he tell him??? The guy is praising him, why should he tell him "oh no, the praise is undeserved, I'm just naturally a moron"? I guess the OP isn't the only airhead here, huh? XD lol

fatherpunk 1

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:24

Ya gotta get over it.

MermaidSongXOXO 6

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:39

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:43

He was probably telling you that you were a natural at acting, but obviously you're too airheaded to notice.

Bloodknight 22

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:48

YDI, If ya don't like it, quit being such an airhead!

FarSide 22

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Friday 6 November 2009 23:52

Well, just do the best you can then.

Starfire22 5

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Saturday 7 November 2009 0:29

be proud to be an airhead!!!

anonacs 0

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Saturday 7 November 2009 0:35

It's ok, some females are just like that. Nothing wrong with that. If you aren't attractive, than don't expect to go very far in life, but don't worry. The world always has lower class people and always will.