Intimacy: Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought...

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 261

You deserved it 90 506

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Same thing different taste

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 287

You deserved it 20 811

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 476

You deserved it 3 067

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 055

You deserved it 8 986

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 253

You deserved it 5 066

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 087

You deserved it 269

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 911

You deserved it 3 577

By andifalls - 24/01/2011 05:11

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 3 543

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 593

You deserved it 2 734

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 8 006

You can't hurry love

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 674

You deserved it 4 135

SomethingWitty 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 15:55

"...then Grandma asked to join. FML"

LyuboLove 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 15:56

i still wonder why people don't take more precautions when there's a possibility of someone being around who could potentially walk in on you... you definitely 100% deserved that one

Comments

OMIGODNOWAI 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 20:29

can't even make your grandma proud on her last day. shame. ;|

jayfx 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 20:32

lol nice.

corey_kelly 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 20:40

your grandma prolly cries herself to sleep now

alex_vik 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 21:13

So the second grandma leaves you're getting ****** in the ass from your boyfriend? Idiot. You deserved it.

kylepwn1 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 21:23

Smooth... next time maybe lock the door? Or make sure no one's home. brickhead

Kiriel 2

Saturday 4 April 2009 21:34

Abstinence is a choice only you can make. Since I don't ever want to get married, it's not one that is right for me, a comprehensive sex education is better than abstinence only education anyway, jut tell them that they can choose to not have sex, too.s