Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text, saying, "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I drove for three hours to surprise a girl after surgery. My truck broke down outside her place, and it turns out she's over an hour away at her family's place. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who lives 6 hours away from me. Her car was missing from her driveway, but she's unemployed and barely leaves the house. Turns out, she moved in with her new boyfriend and didn't tell anyone, so I had to drive 6 hours back. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML
Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
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Top comments
idkweird 0
Is anyone else wondering how she got the damn keys? He drove, why would he hand over keys to her while she was heading in to the hospital?
myfriend_youfail 3
Her pain must have messed up her critical thinking skills. First, who expects a person to WALK thirty-two miles, especially at nine in the morning??? And second, if you'd walked, she would have probably passed you on the way home, since cars drive a lot faster than people can walk...you'd still be walking home when she parked the car at your house! FYL for having an idiot girlfriend. Maybe her "terrible pain" was a result of straining the few brain cells she has available to her.
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Comments (108)
ITuMT 0
Are you guys really arguing over fml comments about grammar???
Deadguy71 0
So, she got up, was released from hospital but needed a ride. She called you (possibly your house number, rather than your cellphone) and then for some inexplicable reason, thought the car might be be in the parking lot, she went out there, somehow located the car, had the keys and drove home. How long was she home before she realized you weren't there? There should be a section on this site for "Wouldn't it be funny IF" so that you can live out your "near miss" fantasies rather than fabricating part of the story to make it interesting.
ColdGold 6
What a shelfish nut-job for a girl friend.
arielsais 0
your girlfriend is an idiot.
jonny2x4 0
Shenanigans!!
Ghado 1
******* bitches arent thinking these days. bitches ******* belong in the kitchen making sandwiches cuz they so good at it
WTFpancakes 0
**** you
creme_poff 0
do people in norway use miles? you are so not from norway. i think you might be a little full of it.
Kjakan 2
Hi there asshat :) Even though we use kilometers and not miles in Norway that does not mean we don't have the math-skills to change it so that you guys can understand!
MEGHEADASAURAUS 0
You're girlfriend's stupid :b She shuold have woken you up or something :l