Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
amadan 0
Wow sucks to be you right now.
SorrowFull 8
blaming you and saying you are the devil's helper is childish, just think of it as a sign to find another girlfriend, if she is unable to express her feelings without regretting the decisions that she makes, then it is best to tell her that she isn't the one you want to be with, and move on
jokozo_fml 0
don't stick your dick in crazy - that's the rule.
Lady98K 4
keep your legs closed bitch and you wouldnt be cryin bloody murder
cofucked 0
LOL devil temptation!!!
zebestbraski 0
give her an ******, she might stop.
peanutbear 0
lol sounds like you should have waited.
sophiamichelle 0
hahahahaha,abstinence is stupid. I probably shouldn't have said that cuz I probably just pissed off tons of Christians.
badactor009 0
Christians and other religious types are fools, hypocrites and idiots.
Fruitmonster2 15
Tell her, tell her, tell her. SHUT THE **** UP. It's HER fault for putting out. The **** shoulda kept her legs closed. She wanted to have sex, so they did.
mikaela1432 0
Haha then she shouldn't of fallen into temptation, I mean, I see where she's coming from because I'm waiting too. But she definitely shouldn't be blaming you....