Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
Bow chika bow wow.
9987coldplayfan 1
Did you return the favor?
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Comments (174)
dudeface 1
We live in a free country, young man, and women here are treated as equals. Therefore, the next time you two get down to it, you have every right to return the favor. Also it's called *******, lovemaking is for anniversaries and her birthday.
MROMRO 0
I already commented on this but had to comment again. I'm deeply disturbed by the number of girls AND guys who find a finger up a guy's ass a turn on. **** is wrong with you ppl!?
anniemall 6
The worst fml for any straight guy
FuckOffNoob 6
lol I thought of Paris Hilton from Shane Dawson thatks for the laugh!! :)
JessicaC13 2
hahahahaha!!! I would've ended the "love making" at that exact moment.
meintx 9
Wow, that's just wrong. Surprise anything in the butt is just wrong.
candyman13 0
My girlfriend says the same thing.. "a lot of guys liked it!" I bet they do.. Except I don't think it's a finger going up there...
bnwranbo 2
I've done that to my boyfriend, with his permission of course. He enjoyed it and it sure as hell turned me on.
bnwranbo 2
Rim jobs are fun to give!
bullrider92 19
My gf tried that shit one night.I didn't like it but it gave me the ok to put something up her butt too.She did like it so that is a regular part of our sex now.