Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML
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Top comments
aggiegirl95 7
Guess its time to call Maury.
petethelovehorn 19
You're better off without her, OP!
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Comments (155)
aussiebloke4578 11
Why would anyone think you deserved that??
no_playa_hater 14
Why is there always one person on each FML asking "Who clicked 'you deserved it'?" Those are mostly bots and some few people who accidently clicked it, as well as some other people who click YDI on every FML they come across.
Zebediabolical 45
Also badgehunters.
DoomSkuller 28
and trolls who just click it to be trolls or find the most ridiculous reasons they deserve it
marcranger 29
I'm guessing she meant to say "pregnancy" test, since it sounds like she hasn't even taken one of those yet. Sometimes words get confused when you're stressed out.
danielhartlesss 13
That's what I was thinking too, she probably wouldn't even mention a paternity test until she was positive she was pregnant.
disposable934 1
Exactly what I was going to say. Give her a chance to clarify. And if she shows you a *pregnancy* test and calls it a "paternity" test, then you know she just confused the two words.
BirdieCurls 25
maybe she meant maternity test?
I_Like_Dogs 28
42, I don't think you understand how any of this works.
LyricaSilvan 30
#15, As much as I admire your optimism, I think you're taking this a little too idealistically.
amzee96 18
haha #42. "Doctor I'm pregnant, but I'm not sure if the baby is mine!"
cheeeksss 29
42, not sure if making a joke or not but that was hilarious.
bakemono_fml 14
@ #77 sad to say I knew someone like this...she was pregnant and found out her boyfriend was cheating on her, she cried her eyes out afraid the baby wasn't hers...I'm afraid for that little boy's upbringing lol
Kittyphysics 21
at which point the first things you should buy the baby are a dictionary and a thesaurus. thats a pretty big difference.
9a_1z 12
She did say she 'missed her period' rather than got a positive test. I would've thought getting a pregnancy test would be her first priority rather than a paternity one. Personally I'd take a test before I even mentioned anything, because it's a big thing to drop on someone if you're not even entirely sure it's not your period being silly. But maybe she's young and needs encouragement (rather than her boyfriend freaking out over a word mix-up).
amileah13 26
Wow what a shitty way to announce your infidelity. "I'm pregnant, but I'm not sure if the baby is yours." *shrugs and walks away* I'm sorry op, hopefully things work out for you.
Railroader 16
How did she tell you? if it was by text might have been auto correct and she meant pregnancy test
Joshawott 21
I'm really hoping that she meant to say "pregnancy test" but got the terminology mixed up.
aedar 16
Just like everyone else here I'm hoping she wanted to say or text "pregnancy" test. Please let us know which was it and the results too if possible. I'm curious :) Btw if she really meant to say "pregnancy" test and it's positive than congratulations :)
marcranger 29
I'd hold off on the congratulations. She might not be pregnant, and even if she is, she might not want to be. It's fine for OP to be excited, but he isn't the one who has to deal with the brunt of it.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Don't you think he would've asked for clarification??
militarybrat 21
45, but then it wouldnt be a fml. A lot of times ppl come back clarifying so this one (if he did) would go "i asked her if she meant pregnancy test and she said yes oops sorry" or something along those lines. Why would she need a paternity test when she doesnt even know if shes pregnant or not? And those results wont be out until the baby is born as it is dangerous to do in utero.
vikky538 29
I think the first step is to do is pregnancy test
dutchy86 20
why caint OP's GF just make a sarcastic joke?
marcranger 29
That could be the real story, too. I know I make a lot of jokes that are only funny to me when I'm stressed out.
A07 48
Why caint you use good grammar?
schreibergx93 19
Sounds like a custody battle if you are the father. Sorry OP!
Myo_fml 20
No, not really since they're not married or divorced.
leogachi 15
@110 A father can file for custody if he isn't married to the mother. Although I think he should have automatic custody unless he's deemed an unfit parent before the birth.
amb27 7
I assume she was joking?
EverestMelting 23
But that would defeat the purpose of fml?! What? If people were normal?! /s