By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 15:30 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 463
You deserved it 5 234

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OP, did you have a reason to be that scared?

"I swear I used a condom!"

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OP, did you have a reason to be that scared?

Even if he was responsible or not, seeing a man burst in with a gun would scare almost anyone.

this is literally one of the funniest FML's i have seen...easy hall of famer

"I'm sorry I took your daughters virginity, I promise it won't happen again"

good question...

I'd say a bloke threatening someone with a gun qualifies as enough reason.

"I swear I used a condom!"

I swear I used the rhythm method!

I swear I pulled out.

I swear I'm sterile..

I swear we're just friends!

I just swear!

Ur-inesecure. See what I did there? no-one? Ok

Yeah, no one.

I saw it but yeah, 'twas sordid.

You mean urine-secure

Thanks, 37, for translating.

Well, at least you know that your natural reaction is to choose flight over fight.

In what strange world is podding yourself a method of flight? If anything, it's a front at the dad. He's boldly marking his territory.

Not-so boldly

Flight over fight, piss over diss. Same thing.

Seems like a bad time to be joking like that when his daughter is very ill, sorry OP.

That's what I was thinking. She's obviously in pain at that moment, why play a dumb joke?

Perhaps he is trying to cheer her up.

If laughter is the best medicine lets fire all the doctors and replace them with much cheaper clowns.

We're aiming for laughter, not complete terror

i was thinking that the whole thing was a joke and she wasn't sick? i could be wrong though

Wrap it before you tap it, never fails....Most of the time haha

"never risk it, wrap your biscuit"

"No glove, no love"

"Don't be silly, wrap your willy!"

Don't be a ________, wrap your trigger!

Don't be a fool cover your tool. What did the penis say to the condom?......... Cover me I'm going in!

Wrap it in latex or she'll get your paychecks.

stealing this lol

It's not a party without a balloon

I'll never understand the sense of humor that some people have..

then why are you on fml...?

Because there's more then 1 type of humour on FML? Just a guess.

hopefully you had other pants

Wow. That's kind of an intense joke...

That's just to scare you off. All fathers are protective of their little daughters. Sucks about your pants though OP.