Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his... - FML

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 12:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 981

You deserved it 4 848

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sawdy 0

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:07

You don't get to drive, he doesn't get to keep his daughter a virgin... seems simple enough

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:07

that has always been my greatest nightmare...

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wowfmlife 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:06

haahahhaha FYL dude

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Sunday 3 July 2011 8:14

that rat bastard! wanna drive my 1969 Camaro to make up for it?

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:07

that has always been my greatest nightmare...

sawdy 0

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:07

You don't get to drive, he doesn't get to keep his daughter a virgin... seems simple enough

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:08

FYL! you fell for that trick. :P

fufubunny 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:10

I agree with #3... it's all about compromise!

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:11

Why masturbate when his daughter is right there? LOGIC, PEOPLE. Women > Masturbation* *Unless you're masturbating with bacon grease.

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Monday 1 March 2010 5:43

It could be the same depending on the size of the girl.

Leftieswillrule 3

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Tuesday 5 October 2010 20:52

#116 epic!

Ugi 26

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Wednesday 2 January 2013 18:36

I agree #6, but I think in this case only one woman was on offer....

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:13

Wow that sux-but if he didn't keep his part of the deal, u don't have to keep urs.

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:14

did he give you a demonstration on masturbating to better illustrate his ideals?

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Sunday 24 May 2009 20:15

Boff his daughter, then tell him that you decided to "drive the car instead of sitting in the passenger seat."

KwitIt 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:17

Haha, this is totally something my dad would do. Your girlfriend must be so embarrassed, if you told her.

Nearly

Today, I realized that I am unconditionally, irrevocably, and deeply in love with someone who doesn't love me anymore. I'd give my life for him and he won't even message me back. Life really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 20

Today, I tried to make a healthy smoothie, but I accidentally added salt instead of sugar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 125

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 159

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 142