By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 01:31 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 779
You deserved it 7 621

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If that were me in that situation, given the irony, I'd regret absolutely nothing.

Don't have sex. YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE!

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But oh so worth it.

if she is married then this isn't hypocritical. Edit for a NVM. missed the "single" part.

I believe she got pregnant on purpose to show all you the dangers of having sex. You should be grateful

Hey guys. Looks like everyone's here! Before we take attendance, welcome to Nutrition&Fitness 101! I've been a registered "dietician" fo' 4 years! Blahblahblahh... **nom nom burger & large soda**

I wonder why no one else burst out into laughter :/

I could ruin the joke and bring up the fact she could have been raped :/

But that would be a shitty thing to do. It's a good thing you aren't like that

Artificial Insemination. All the older, single ladies are getting it these days. No sex necessary...

Because that totally makes sense. That's too serious a thing to do just for a class.

Or the father of a student in her class. I think I would have laughed as well at some abstinence-only "instructor" becoming pregnant. Did you call her Bristol?

Yeah like someone would wake up and think " you know what I'm going to get pregnant to show kids how it can ruin their lives" that makes real fucking sense. ( not bashing or anything) but the only kind of person that would do that has to be someone with a mental handicap.

first yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dream gas finally come true ;)

If that were me in that situation, given the irony, I'd regret absolutely nothing.

Definitely worth it.

I'd walk into detention laughing every single day, then continue to laugh the whole time I was there.

SO worth it, I made this a favorite. If you had been given a really severe punishment it might be an FYL, but detention? Not so bad. Good for you for appreciating irony and mocking abstinence.

I agree with 64 xD teacher are too harsh. "YOU LAUGHED! DETENTION!!" the irony in this fml is great :P

The nerve of some people.

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She is single though, so that kinda goes against the whole abstinence thing.

Abstinence is restraining from intercourse until you're married. From my knowledge any how. This teacher was a single abstinent promoter that got pregnant.

Abstinence means staying away from sex. Some people are abstinent even inside marriage. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_abstinence

She could have been raped.

Not just an adult, an adult HYPOCRITE, get it?

that is a huge irony...although that is rude of you to laugh like that

It's rude of OP's teacher to get up in front of class to teach abstinence, when she could not even resist succumbing to the natural desires of the flesh (especially when the rate of teenage pregnancies is becoming unbearably hard on our cash-strapped, government welfare programs).

What if she was raped? OP doesn't know the whole situation.

Why should they 94? It's true, we don't know the entire situation at all. I had a friend who was pregnant by rape but people still made fun of her cause they thought she was just a slut. None of us knows all of what happened, so we can't really judge her accurately.

I highly doubt the teacher was raped, because it's unlikely that the school would announce her pregnancy if she was. While employers can be brutal, no one would subject someone who had been in a horrible situation to more humiliation. While it could be possible, it's highly unlikely.

Wait, so if she's raped, decides to keep the baby, and, thus, leaves her job, then it's humiliating to say that she's pregnant? I mean, if she decided to keep the baby, then it's not a secret that she's pregnant. What would be humiliating is if the school told everyone that she was pregnant due to rape. Doesn't mean she was, but the announcement shouldn't make it seem "highly unlikely."

They wouldn't need to announce the reason for her leaving and she wouldn't need to disclose it to them either. In this situation it really doesn't seem likely that she was raped.

Why would she announce she's pregnant if it was by rape? She would likely be ashamed and not want to say anything relating to it.

Don't have sex. YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE!

And if you are a guy your penis will fall off, and your ancestors will cry while you die a slow agonizing death.. My ex's mom told him this back when I was in Catholic school, it was a funny, slightly disturbing thing to hear right after being caught making out as a teen.

Lol you WILL get chlamydia and you WILL die!

Ok, everyone take a rubber.

Blastocysts are embryonic suicide bombers. They plant a bomb in the womb, then let it do its thing. They were never born to begin with, so they have nothing to lose, hence the "blast" in blastocyst. True story.

Don't do it in the missionary position. Don't do it standing up. Look, just don't do it alright!

Never do it in a boat. Never do it with a goat. Never do it Sam I Am Or you will get green eggs and ham!

With a side of blue waffle.

dont have sex, because you will get pregnant..and die. Dont have sex in the missionary, dont have sex standing up..just...dont do it. now everybody take some rubbers.

I'm watching that rn!

#22 wait I can't read it. How is religion like a penis?

Gotta love the self-contradictors

I had the exact same thing at school, I loved it so much. There's being hypocritical and the there's this, this is amazing.

My sex ed teacher preached abstinence, too - because he had to. He was a health teacher forced to run the sex ed class. He didn't give a shit what we did but his job was to stand up there and extol the virtues of chastity. Stop holding a teacher's work persona against her. Sex ed teachers are usually little more than paid actors. The board gives them their lines and they recite them.

The damn hypocrite deserves the humiliation.