Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed "Oh my god!" for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a TV into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I miss the amazing sex life we used to have, as we haven't had sex in months. She accidentally blurted out, "Well, I've still got one." It seems our neighbour has taken over my role in the bedroom. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
BlueTwist89 0
Move the TV back out of your room :).
perdix 31
Yes, you did improve in bed -- you brought in the TV! I'm sure your gf is thrilled that you are open to the idea of getting electrical devices involved in your otherwise tedious sex life. You are going to have to demote yourself from the role of boyfriend to being the pimp for a series of vibrators and a series of electro-hydraulic sex contraptions. I can't wait to see you bitch-slap the Orgasmatron 6900 for not showing you da money.
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Comments (97)
brokenclockwork 0
wow, she was watching tv during sex? that probably made you feel like shit. fyl.
brokenclockwork 0
an attempt at spicing up the sex life gone horribly wrong? try something different or just in general try harder.
Brittney_E 0
what tv show was it? O_o
AjLover 0
lol. I want to know that too.
_unratedx 0
OP, ydi for sucking at sex. advice; improve so you don't embarrass yourself like that again ;D sincerely; unrated <3
mikeike518 0
Hit here in the head with a bat and I bet she will say "oh my god"
DjeePee 25
YDI, because you didn't improve in a year, and you're obviously not very good at it. FYL, because you two can only enjoy fantastic sex if you're both trying to improve it. She doesn't do a shit, does she? If there's no love during sex, is it in the relationship? There are people who have a good relationship while living celibate, but you're frustrated, so you're not one of them. I don't think your relationship is so good anyway. You'll figure it out when the tv-shows become boring and you two don't know what to do with eachother.
yazmi_09 3
ydi for being bad at sex, it's not exactly rocket science
SirJoseph 0
hey this ain't no dr Phil 52
B8Master 0
ydi for watch tv, and not using Trojans new fire and ice condoms punk
nerdsgetmehot 23
Watching tv while having sex? Really?! Way to kill all the sexiness and intimacy in your sex life. :( Sounds like you've gotten a bit lazy, man...