Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything...

By sarahmaxine - 09/05/2015 04:10 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 2 109

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 363

You deserved it 3 508

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 756

You deserved it 2 591

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 224

You deserved it 3 001

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 757

You deserved it 6 944

By benjavel71 - 10/01/2017 11:13 - United States - Prairie Grove

Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 803

You deserved it 9 070

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 240

You deserved it 3 804

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 469

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 312

First impressions

By I think its dead - 15/01/2013 07:33 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 957

You deserved it 41 455

By Mr_poole - 18/05/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 871

You deserved it 5 354

sammiking 13

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:48

Your mom is a little crazy

TweetAnne 13

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:53

Could of sworn dogs got fleas and not lice.

Comments

sammiking 13

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:48

Your mom is a little crazy

CBOokami 13

Sunday 10 May 2015 4:09

Or misinformed

Kazze 31

Sunday 10 May 2015 4:17

35: Nah, just crazy.

sonasonic 34

Sunday 10 May 2015 10:16

"Little" dosen't cover the insanity here.

meatloaf11 23

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:49

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

feven 32

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:53

Humans can't even get lice from dogs so what she did was just plain stupid

Rstein14 14

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:50

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Lexipants 21

Sunday 10 May 2015 0:03

Lice don't like a dirty environment, so...

Markovski 18

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:51

You should talk to your mom about it and tell her how you feel about what she did.

dakatabg 31

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:52

Family rules

jmigs17 19

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:52

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

myanichole 22

Saturday 9 May 2015 23:49

... Just because she's not a dog person doesn't mean she's a cat person.

seninaa 27

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:52

that sound very considerate

erin55378 17

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:52

Wait so that's not a normal thing to do...? Whoops.

TweetAnne 13

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:53

Could of sworn dogs got fleas and not lice.

feven 32

Saturday 9 May 2015 23:00

No, they can get either. It's just not transferable to humans

siggy_mcsigx 22

Sunday 10 May 2015 0:01

Could've*

Xamry14 10

Sunday 10 May 2015 2:36

No, head lice can only live on humans.

Calingaladha 21

Sunday 10 May 2015 21:01

They can get lice (most animals can), but lice are very species-specific, so dog lice will not live on humans, and vice-versa.

SadSouthernBell 18

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:53

I take it she hasn't had much experience with dogs.

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The Top

Today, I had to bring my youngest (a 3 year-old) with me to my therapist's, due to not having childcare. After waiting 10 minutes, the receptionist called me up to the desk to inform me that my therapist wouldn’t be seeing me, because of my child being there. Nothing like wasting an hour of my time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 713

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 398

You deserved it 15 005

The Top

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 1 794

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 859

You deserved it 17 226

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 222

You deserved it 23 287

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 414

You deserved it 8 040

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to Pizza Hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 305

You deserved it 4 033

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 242

You deserved it 3 012

Same thing different taste

Good one

Not now, guys

Sweep it under the rug

First impressions

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