Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Used
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML
What did I do this time?
Today, it's been 3 weeks since my girlfriend of 5 years stopped answering any calls or texts. I sent her a long email for closure (for me) only to get a response that she's on vacation. I had no idea she was going away and I don't know what I did. Time to get another dog and be done with "love" for good. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Adopt, don't shop
Today, I went to pick up my dog from a friend's place since she agreed to watch him while I went out of state for Spring Break. I arrived at her apartment. She’s gone and the apartment was vacated. She won’t answer her phone or texts, and vanished from all social media. I’m still making payments on the dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML
Top comments
cutycat136 28
Just take it to one of her closest relatives and tell them they'll have to take care of it until she's back because you're leaving.
sandraw1 22
Not stealing - taking care of it for an indefinite periode of time :)
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Comments (279)
djbrisvegas 9
Adopt it out to a more loving owner. She obviously doesn't care about it very much.
KxHoneyCombxP 24
pound
mmcrae97 9
You don't have to pay for the kennel. Most boarding places don't require payment until you pick the dog up. Check the dog in under her name and send her a text telling her where it's boarding. She'll have to pick it up and pay for it if she wants the dog back.
kasou_fml 7
the bitch is using you
Quiet_one 22
Take the dog to a kennel, and give them her name and contact information as the primary caretaker/owner. You can give them your name if they want it, but just fill everything out like you live at the same address as her and her phone number is the only one that will work. Most kennels don't make you pay up front, so just tell them she'll be picking up on whatever day she'll get back. Let her know where the dog is and when they're expecting her, and then cut all contact. That's what she gets for having bad breakup timing. If she complains, remind her that she's lucky you're not spiteful enough try to keep her dog.
DEATHLORD_fml 16
Let it run loose in her apartment/ house, let it destroy shit.
johnrdz3 24
Or just get one of the bowls that feeds the dogs on its own and and a water bowl that self serves more water and leave so it can make a mess
MatthewWelch15 3
Give it a big bowl of food take a shit in the floor piss on the walls say adios sucka
katina1236 20
Take it to the kennel and give her the bill. Or take care of it until she comes back and charge her for it.
Eternal_Insanity 12
Damn... Do what you think is better for the dog, not for her.