Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a new TV as a 10th anniversary present. She gave me a torch on a keyring. FML
Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
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Top comments
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Oh, the Romance :) Take hers as an experiment.
zfchatroulette 24
What a butthole.
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Comments (72)
picante72 24
Selfishness is the root cause of most breakups and divorces. Red flag imo.
panicsdisaster 17
Door mat.
mymeggierox 7
Man that really sucks. I would be so pissed.
machiavelli2 5
And now you can borrow her toys! Think about a brand new iPad! Shiny!
Stefanie88 24
I think it means she gave them back to him, I could be wrong though.
squishycat 6
Time to get a new girlfriend, one who already has her own stuff!
wolfman10187 5
Darn right. My woman at least understood that we don't need gifts for valentines day. Just each other and a warm home to go to.
dontpanic_fml 32
OK, so basically you got your shit back, and she bought a gift for herself while letting you off the hook for buying her a gift. I don't get how ****** your life is.
Lintu777 9
I've been with my lady for four years now and she always steals my electronics I wouldn't take it so seriously. They make their way back to you... eventually
gummybear1996 13
Dont feel bad. I thought it meant she returned them to the store too. I had to read it about 3 times to get it.
Murphyslaw98 4
I don't get how OP deserved that